Size Zero model defends herself from Hospital Bed

Funny story written by Kent Pete

Wednesday, 25 July 2007

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Size Zero model defends herself from Hospital Bed
Lily Cole enjoying watching people eat at The Ivy.

Top Size Zero model Lily Cole has today hit back at her critics suggesting that there was nothing unhealthy about her lifestyle.

Speaking from her bed at Charter Nightingale Hospital, Chelsea, tiny Lil claimed, "What is this fascination about my weight. I am only 6ft and weigh almost 7 stone. I don't really understand this BMI thing but my doctor tells me mine's 13 and that sounds a lot to me and my agent agrees."

After taking four deep breathes on her oxygen mask Ms Cole continued," It's all these fat people that have the problem. You see it all around you. I have known friends of mine to eat almost 2000 calories a day. Now I don't know much about calories either but Christ that would keep a family of elephants going wouldn't it?"

At this point in the interview Lily appeared to start hallucinating, claiming that our current affairs correspondent Peter Musgrove had suddenly changed into the Duke of Edinburgh.

Believing that he was about to get involved in some kind of anorexic royal sex scandal our reporter made his excuses and left.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Related Funny Stories…




Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more