Glastonbury founder Michael Beavis was today thanking his persistent nagging as The Police famed for hits like 'Roxanne' & 'Don't Stand So Close To Me' announced they would be performing at this years Glastonbury festival.
Guitarist Andy Summers said in the NME today, "Sting is universally known as a pillock, I know it, you know it, the press know it. Yet the money is too good to turn down. It'll actually be good to dust off my Strat & get pomping!"
Other bands rumoured to be reforming are The Doors (with the recently exhumed remains of Jim Morrison), Duran Duran, Kylie, Michael Jackson & Oasis. Ticket Touts were also today reeling as new security measures including photo I.D tickets are being put into place to stop the illegal trade of tickets that goes on every year. It is thought it is 200% impossible to fake the tickets & criminal gangs from Eastern Europe are creating a series of masks & costumes which look 'almost similar' to that of the pictures on the ticket, in a bid to beat the system.
Andrei Kaputz is a former tout who now lives in his 300 acre mansion in Hampshire said today, "It's a good way to make money. I made my first million within the first month of entering the country as an illegal. I was living in London's west end, wanted for sex crimes back in my home country. These new measures may break tout's spirits & almost certainly force them into real jobs like catering & supermarket work".
