Satirist Crosses Line Into Geekdom

Written by King David

Wednesday, 22 November 2006


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DURHAM-The contumacious and utterly regenerative satirist, King David of Durham, in a move that didn't surprise anyone including himself, today crossed the line into official geekdom after he bought take-out at a local restaurant and brought it home to eat in front of his computer.

Voices inside the writer's head were reported to have said, "It was bound to happen."

Since writing articles for an online magazine, which sources say is undisclosed, King has been captivated and charmed, spending many hours writing and reading the work of others. He lost his relationship to his girlfriend of one month and is losing even more friends as we speak. He has also appeared looking a little on the thin side lately, more thin than usual.

"This is certainly better than therapy," the writer was reported as saying, "much cheaper and more fun."

King harkens back to a time in his own life when he used to make fun of geeks. "In high school, I was the jock. There wasn't much room for anything else." Over the years, he changed, getting bored with all the stereotypes, society and doing only one thing.

"I've had a collection of interests and have been anything but a specialist," he told reporters.

This is a radical notion in today's day and age where specialization is worshipped and all the jobs created since the Industrial Revolution have been overly repetitious and boring.

"Just look at the school systems," King points to as an example. "Look how they've catered to the job market. The whole country has gone test crazy. It's competition, competition, competition and the answer is always in the box. We don't want anyone to think for themselves.

Administrators and superintendents all around the country are sitting around comparing test results, measuring the rises and falls of graph lines as if they were teenage boys sitting around comparing the size of their penises. No test has yet been devised for creativity."

People also have criticized the writer for being very selfish, not settling down, or "following the rules."

"But I say who's going to notice in today's world where everyone is out for themselves, their country and God?"

King was reported to have received a palm pilot and Toshiba I-Pod for his birthday taking him further down the road to Geekdom glory.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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