Rondo Dismisses Duct Tape for 21st Century Solution

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Saturday, 17 November 2012

Rajon Rondo suffered a sprained ankle the other game, but he missed only one game before returning to his magnificent form.

Saturday afternoon, playing less than the entire game, he still had 20 assists.

To what do we attribute the healing powers that Rondo emits? Like some kind of god turning water into wine, he now can turn twisted ankles into pirouttes that would make Nijinski blush.

In the old days a player would tape up his delicate ankles and hope for the best. The 21st century has changed all that.

Rondo has found technology to embrace, or to embrace him. He sets his legs into a contraption not seen since the Inquisition in Spain several hundred years ago.

Duct tape might have been the remedy of choice for the astronauts facing peril in Apollo 13, but that too was more than a generation ago. Today old fashioned "duck tape" has gone the way of the Hula Hoop and the Twinkie.

Thanks to NormTec, Rondo employs pneumatic compression on his bony ankle that brings new medical miracles to a Celtic who thrives on performing them.

While tweeting and texting on his laptop and smartphone, Rondo can lay back in his bed on the off day and find that he not only will return in record time, but will be continuing to set records.

Move over Flash Gordon and Buzz Lightyear. There is a new bionic man in Boston who thrives on electrodes.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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