Kryptonite Hits Superman Dwight Howard

Written by Ossurworld

Wednesday, 4 July 2012

Who would have guessed that the man in the Superman costume was an impostor?

It appears that Orlando has housed both Mickey Mouse and a dirty rat.

Newly hired Orlando Magic GM Rob Hennigan has reached for both the bottle of aspirin this week-and the radioactive file cabinet that holds his special stash of Kryptonite.

When Superman Howard flew through the wall and into Hennigan's office, he seemed to be ready to send General Zod Hennigan back to Howard's birth planet Krypton.

If you want a PG-rated version of the saga of Superman Dwight Howard, you won't find it in the NBA. Dwight Howard has taken the cardinal virtues of faith, hope, and goodwill, and tossed them into the shredder with contracts, agreements, and legalities.

Numero Uno has become his new mantra.

Yes, Dwight Howard has hoodwinked a generation of children into thinking he has a brain, a heart, and courage. He comes off as the man without a team or a scruple, let alone a gray cell.

Rip off that Superman cape and therein beats the heart of Lex Luthor, diabolical in his desires to undermine loyalty and good sportsmanship.

If anyone has tugged on Superman's cape and peeked under the Lone Ranger's mask, it is Dwight Howard.

If Howard can find a way to fly to the heart of Brooklyn, he may use his cape as a Magic carpet to ride the rails out of town. Dwight seems to have confused magic carpets with red carpets.

If there is a Lois Lane in this story, the media have assumed the role, always suspicious of the true identity of Superman Howard. Dwight, in his guise as a mild mannered center, always preferred to play on a team in a great metropolitan area. He will step on Lois Lane to get his way.

But, if you are looking for Dwight Howard to fight for truth, justice, and the American Way, you may be barking up the wrong tree.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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