Written by queen mudder

Monday, 27 April 2009

image for Bank of America CEO out on his ass
Ken Lewis and Gen Tommy Franks will be made an offer they can't refuse

Charlotte, North Carolina - (Merrill Lynch Mob Mess): Bank of America CEO Ken Lewis faces the boot on Wednesday as disgusted shareholders congregate to pay him back for the disastrous Merrill Lynch firesale which resulted in their shares plunging from $35 to $9.

Also on the scrapheap are BoA board lead independent director Temple Sloan and his sidekick Jacqueline Ward, head of the bank's asset quality (sic) committee.

Clinging on by his chewed-down fingernails is retired US Army General Tommy Franks who despite having toppled notorious Bush stoolpigeon Saddam Hussein has been unable to waterboard the Merrill takeover truth out of Lewis.

Bank of America still remains the USA's biggest financial insititution by deposits - largely because 'an anonymous spoof writer' has kept all her secret oil well and gas field investment income stashed in its coffers for the last decade.

All that could change any day now, of course.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: bank of america

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