Heathrow Airport, London - (Disastrous Press): BA has been fined a total of £350 million for screwing over passengers with exorbitant fuel surcharges which they then lied about while paying its fatcat bosses outrageous productivity bonuses.
BA was grassed up by Virgin Airlines after it was caught red handed in the collusion and threatened with bankruptcy.
This would have included a total financial wipe-out for pot-smoking beardie weirdo Richard Branson, currently in the news for losing over £300 million of investment funds in his daftass commercial space travel rocket project as well as £100 million in advance ticket sales.
Today's record aviation fines were imposed following probes by British and US competition authorities.
A spokesman for BA said that they will pay the fine from the company's reserves as well as from shareholder funds but warned that passengers will ultimately foot the bill.
"Ticket prices may have to double as a result," BA accountants warned.
