
Bugs Bunny - "Hey Doc, Maybe You Oughta' be Eatin' Some Carrots Too!"
HOLLYWOOD (AP) The world's foremost authority on carrots is hardly surprised by the news out of Europe this morning. A report from researchers at the University of Newcastle upon Tyne in England and the University of Southern from Denmark reveals tha...
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Scientists Discover New Connections Between Dogs, Opera, Beets, and Ovens
New York, NY--Scientists at a major teaching hospital here today reported not one but two scientific findings that they hope will propel them to the front of the line for a Nobel Prize and provide them with lifetime free tickets to Lincoln Center.
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Woman offers first-born child for Gmail account
TENNESSEE - Nashville resident Vida Mae Bakerstrue posted yesterday on GmailSwap.com that she would trade her first-born child for a Gmail invitation.
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Scotland -The Perfect Asylum
Scottish first minister and champion of the platform shoe, wee Jock Mcnumptie, today outlined plans to tackle Scotland's imminent population crisis.
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Pequot School District Announces "C" Honor Roll
PEQUOT, SD --- A report card that would have earned youngsters a beating twenty years ago will now earn them something else: a place on the honor roll. At least in Pequot, South Dakota. Superintendent of schools, Pat "The Freezer" Burn last Friday an...
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Sheep Cloning Scientist Takes Another Poke at Dolly !
LONDON (REUTERS) The British scientist who created Dolly the sheep -- a clone that shocked the animal world -- has begun trying to clone a human embryo. Ian Wilmut is conducting therapeutic cloning at the Roslin Institute, near Edinburgh. Professor W...
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Corey Feldman Hops a Ride on Michael Jackson's Train
LOS ANGELES - Corey Feldman is the latest burned out, former child star to hitch a ride on the Gravy Train, apparently one of the favorite amusements at Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch. Feldman told 20/20's Martin Bashir in an exclusive interview r...
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Guinness Challenges Four-Year-Old Boy's Driving Claim
LONDON - Guinness World Records has challenged a four-year-old boy's claim that he is the youngest person ever to take his mother's car and drive it to a video store in the middle of the night. "Our preliminary investigation suggests that this lad ma...
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Vicious Cones Attack
New York, New York - A rash of unprovoked traffic cone attacks reported around the city baffles scientist and police in the city of New York. Reports are coming in from all over; they say .One man was nearly killed when a wild cone attacked his legs...
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Perverts Flock to Virginia!
RICHMOND, VA --- For a while it seemed that the prison gates were about to slam shut on a man caught using his video phone to look up the skirts of teenage girls. But thanks to his attorneys -- and a legal loophole -- Jeffrey S. remains a free man. I...
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