Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Randy Sandhofer.
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Lost scripture shows Jesus arrested for turning water into wine at an underage worship
Although all followers escaped, Jesus was still issued a ticket for providing wine to minors even though he stated it was almost Christmas and he's "kind of important" to the holiday.
written by Randy Sandhofer, 10 December 2013
Apples' Steve Jobs announces opening of first restaurant
The "iHop" will focus primarily on breakfast and will be opening in the spring.
written by Randy Sandhofer, 05 April 2011
Trick birthday cake candle technology to power 2015 Toyota Prius
Cutting out gasoline all together Toyota boasts a 500 mile per CANDLE average with the self renewing fuel source. Unfortunately this also makes coming to a stop impossible.
written by Randy Sandhofer, 14 March 2011
Presidential hopeful to run on new platform
The platform he previously had been jogging on was so 2008.
written by Randy Sandhofer, 14 March 2011
Woman fired from Degree for wearing sweat pants
Feeling like it sent the wrong image, Degree the popular deodorant company, fired an employee for wearing sweat pants on Casual Friday.
written by Randy Sandhofer, 10 March 2011
Crayola to release economical "Primary Pack"
Crayola argue that because red, blue and yellow make up the other colors, these 3 are the only ones your underprivileged student needs!
written by Randy Sandhofer, 10 March 2011
Man credits lucky charm with lottery win.
Frank Williams has carried around the purple horseshoe marshmallow since the cereal introduced them in 1984.
written by Randy Sandhofer, 08 March 2011
Head and Shoulders to release matching body wash.
The makers of "Head and Shoulders" are releasing "Knees and Toes" a daily body wash. Gentle enough for eyes, ears, mouth and nose "Head and Shoulders" and "Knees and toes" together will keep you clean
written by Randy Sandhofer, 05 March 2011
Hunmpty Dumpty death ruled suicide
Humpty knew what he was doing when he leapt from the wall to his death, officials are now saying after a farewell letter was found by one of the kings men.
written by Randy Sandhofer, 05 March 2011
Man wears swimming attire to carpool
To the horror of his fellow office workers, Jerry wore a Hawaiian speedo his first day joining the carpool that his office had set up earlier that year to ease tension and stress at work.
written by Randy Sandhofer, 03 March 2011
3 dead after blind Conga line leader Congas off bridge
Blind man and dance enthusiast Dan Klien was leading a Conga line late last night when he danced his way off a bridge, the first few people following him. Witnesses said as he fell he kept great form.
written by Randy Sandhofer, 28 February 2011
Easter Bunny coming out with tell all book just in time for Easter
Covering everything from losing a front tooth in a bar fight to the 2002 arrest and conviction for breaking and entering, it's posed to outsell Rudolphs "Red nosed" outlining his struggle with cocaine
written by Randy Sandhofer, 28 February 2011
Boy missing for 2 years returns home forfeiting longest ever game of Hide and Seek
When asked about the return, the parents responded "We are shocked, overjoyed and mostly relieved, because technically he lost, so we don't have to have that birthday party he was promised if he won"
written by Randy Sandhofer, 26 February 2011
Thief steals vintage "Polaroid" camera, story still developing..
Update: We are still not getting a clear picture of this story, details still emerging..
written by Randy Sandhofer, 25 February 2011
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