Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Catherine the Average.
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Pippa's ass mourns Winehouse passing
Leads campaign to ensure all significant, important and accomplished public figures wear loose fitting clothing from the waist down for thirty days, in tribute.
written by Catherine the Average, 25 July 2011
Harriet Harman furious no one quoting her Amy Winehouse tribute
'Amy Winegum and marginalization go hand in hand. That no one has quoted my release demonstrates it is structural hegemony that is ruining this country, not the gazillions of pounds Labour spent.'
written by Catherine the Average, 25 July 2011
Victoria Beckham apologizes for snub to Spencer sisters
Mistook for former bandmates.
written by Catherine the Average, 02 May 2011
Cart Wheeling Verger Cleared
New footage shows Princess Anne hurling him up aisle in bid to take out Earl Spencer.
written by Catherine the Average, 02 May 2011
New World's Most Wanted Criminal Mastermind
Ima Knoll-Hopper, stylist to Princess Beatrice and Eugenie, leaps into first place following bin Laden vacancy.
written by Catherine the Average, 02 May 2011
Princess Anne Tweet
Ingrates B & E yet to thank me for choosing their outfits for Friday!
written by Catherine the Average, 02 May 2011
Bin Laden
Pippa Middleton's ass to make statement shortly.
written by Catherine the Average, 02 May 2011
Fergie and Andy to star in new TV series
Disgraced pair signed for Downontheirluck Abbey.
written by Catherine the Average, 08 March 2011
Not looking so bad now, am I?
Kate Middleton's controversial uncle to be seated next to Duke of York at wedding, wearing 'I'm with Stupid' t-shirt.
written by Catherine the Average, 07 March 2011
Breaking Hollywood News
Charlie Sheen set to play Prince Andrew set to play Charlie Sheen in new farce biopic in cinemas by Christmas.
written by Catherine the Average, 07 March 2011
Peabrains in a pod?
Daily Mail said investigating possibility Prince Andrew and Charlie Sheen separated at birth.
written by Catherine the Average, 07 March 2011
Award for Duke of York
Set to receive Charlie Sheen Prize for Excellence in Judgement on 1st April.
written by Catherine the Average, 06 March 2011
Princess Anne Tweet
Told Tindall to get his nose sorted before wedding. Didn't mean surgery. Not with my left hook.
written by Catherine the Average, 06 March 2011
Title change for Duke of York
Buckingham Palace hopes lowered expectations for Duke of Hopeless will quell scandal. Remarriage to Fergie expected in due course.
written by Catherine the Average, 05 March 2011
Princess Anne Tweet
At least the hooves of my friends aren't cloven. He is sooooo thick!
written by Catherine the Average, 05 March 2011
Royal Wedding Panic
Society stampedes Mayfair shops to avoid wearing Galliano on the 29th.
written by Catherine the Average, 01 March 2011
Princess Anne Tweet
V. pissed off Mummy says I can't wear trousers to Zara's wedding.
written by Catherine the Average, 12 January 2011
Princess Anne Tweet
Got seven lumps of coal for Xmas but glared at them so hard have new diamond necklace. Hah!
written by Catherine the Average, 27 December 2010
Christmas gas contributes to global warming
Intensity of post-merriment methane pegged as major threat to ice caps.
written by Catherine the Average, 26 December 2010
Christmas gas contributes to global warming
Intensity of post-merriment methane pegged as major threat to ice caps.
written by Catherine the Average, 26 December 2010
Princess Anne Tweet
Annual Boxing Day peasant shoot today - hurrah!
written by Catherine the Average, 26 December 2010
Princess Anne Tweet
Personally wringing the Christmas turkey's neck today. Comfort and joy!
written by Catherine the Average, 23 December 2010
BA to re-brand after Xmas Travel Fiasco
Will very slowly re-enter the market as Tortoise Airlines with flights starting... well, no one's sure but they're doing their absolute best to decide.
written by Catherine the Average, 23 December 2010
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