Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Inchcock.
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Showing page 8 (of 54 pages)
Loch Ness monster hunter claims best picture of Nessie!
After spending 60 hours a week on Loch Ness for 26 years, monster hunter George Edwards, believes he finally has the best picture ever taken!
Mmmm?
written by Inchcock, 05 August 2012
Gran nearly lost £1m lottery win due to crooked shop worker!
Farrakh Nizzar checked it and told her she hadn't won. He rang Camelot trying to claim the prize.
Maureen's Tesco Clubcard proved she'd bought the ticket while on her weekly shop.
"Every little helps?"
written by Inchcock, 05 August 2012
Team GB go out on penalties to South Korea!
One of the greatest days British sport has ever known ended with a sadly familiar quarter-final penalty shoot-out exit to South Korea in Cardiff!
"What a surprise!"
written by Inchcock, 05 August 2012
Chancellor of the Sexchequer? New book to lift lid on Osborne's links to dominatrix!
The biography is expected to reveal details of Mr Osborne & wealthy friends after he left Oxford University.
The Mirror - Miss Whiplash biography
"I can't wait for it!"
written by Inchcock, 05 August 2012
Paper clips have been banned by Manchester NHS
NHS Trust made the decision to stop the use of the metal clips after a member of staff cut their finger on one.
"Good job they did't stick a hypodermic in their finger - they might have been banned!"
written by Inchcock, 05 August 2012
Skegness family discover deadly 10cm scorpion in suitcase
They found the deathstalker scorpion, the 2nd most poisonous species in the world - inside her mother's case when they returned from Spain!
"Should have holidayed at home in Skeggy!"
written by Inchcock, 05 August 2012
6 Aug 12: UK Voting Intentions Poll
Labour 43%
Conservatives 33%
Lib-Dems 11%
Others 13%
Lib-Dems up 2%!!! Amazing!
written by Inchcock, 04 August 2012
HSBC issue apology!
And set aside another £950million to cover mis-selling claims and a money laundering scandal.
"Meanwhile, their Senior managers salary and bonus packages are worth just over £1m!"
written by Inchcock, 03 August 2012
Fury erupted last night as a minister insisted Britain will ALWAYS remain in the European Union!
They didn't like it!
written by Inchcock, 03 August 2012
1/3rd of UK Motorists cutting back on food to keep car!
Nearly a third say they have slashed their spend on groceries to fund the sky-high cost of motoring.
"I;ve already got rif of the car, the telly, the cat, and bank balance in an effort to keep eating!"
written by Inchcock, 02 August 2012
Postman had 75,000 letters and parcels in his garden shed!
Hodson, 33, said that he'd been too lazy to deliver the 70,000 of junk mail and 4,376 addressed packages. He also stole up to £600 from gift cards.
"That's where me poison pen letter to Clegg went?"
written by Inchcock, 02 August 2012
Balotelli hides in toilet to avoid fans!
Man City's Mario Balotelli locked himself in an airport toilet to hide from a mob of adoring fans.
"He didn't want to get bogged down?"
written by Inchcock, 01 August 2012
Polygamist immigrants will get additional benefits cash
Immigrants with more than one wife will get additional benefits cash due to a loophole in the Government's welfare reforms.
"Oh I am glad for them!"
written by Inchcock, 01 August 2012
Private contractors are to take over UK's nuclear weapons!
Private contractors are to take over the maintenance of the UK's nuclear weapons.
Probably be French, Chinese, Japanese, or Lithuanian, if not Polish!
written by Inchcock, 31 July 2012
Taxpayers forced to splash out £1,320 on a new shower screen for Commons Speaker John Bercow!
Another £80 went on repairing a roller blind in his Westminster pad. Even a £145.50 TV licence and £1,375 council tax were slapped on the public bill!
It beggars belief! Moral's?
written by Inchcock, 31 July 2012
Ministers 'discussed sacking' striking UK Border Agency staff!
Introducing Ronald Reagan-style employment laws which would allow them to sack UK Border Agency staff who plan to strike.
"No problem then, plenty of G4S & Big Issue sellers they could use!"
written by Inchcock, 31 July 2012
Cameron, Clegg & Johson admit to paying tradesmen Cash-in-hand!
Paid with back-handers given to them I assume!
written by Inchcock, 30 July 2012
Cash-in-hand deals 'are morally wrong'
David Gauke hit out at families who get a discount from tradesmen including builders for the tax dodge.
"The'll have to do a lot worse than that to be as 'Morally Wrong' as MPs are!"
written by Inchcock, 30 July 2012
G4S to Guard Cameron at Party Conference!
Fair enough - personally I'd prefer it if they used the Nottingham Flower Arrangers Under 11's Knitting team to protect him.
Never mind!
written by Inchcock, 30 July 2012
Tony Blair has said he accepts some responsibility
For the state of Britain's economy. The Daily Star
"How kind of him!"
written by Inchcock, 30 July 2012
Imogen Thomas is swelling with sporting pride!
As she supports Team GB at the Olympic Games.
Proof: The Daily Star
written by Inchcock, 30 July 2012
Norway happily trades as part of Europe without being in the EU
And has flexed its financial muscle in the last year, buying £25B worth of holding in Britain's blue chip companies, including two per cent of M&S and Rolls-Royce.
"Reading this are you Cameron?"
written by Inchcock, 30 July 2012
20.07.12: UK Voting intentions Poll
Lab Con Lib Other
40% 35% 9% 16%
Conservatives up to 35%? How?
written by Inchcock, 30 July 2012
Showing page 8 (of 54 pages)
