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Showing page 7 (of 15 pages)
California education to improve
With its Powerball Lottery at $425 million, bankrupt California should acquire enough money, through ticket sales, to improve its education system, which is near the nation's bottom in quality.
written by Gee Pee, 07 August 2013
Philippines expands navy
The Philippines added a new warship to its naval fleet, which now boasts a totals of two vessels.
written by Gee Pee, 07 August 2013
Obama favors higher minimum wage
In support of a higher minimum wage of $10 per hour, President Obama says he will accept such such a salary. "Pay me what I'm worth," he challenges Congress.
written by Gee Pee, 07 August 2013
Taco Bell expands "waffle taco" test
Emboldened by reports of the 15-ton "fatberg" removed from a London sewer, Taco Bell plans to expand its tests of its new waffle taco. If a sewer can be cleaned, why not customers' arteries?
written by Gee Pee, 07 August 2013
Obama chides Putin
As payback for Russia's asylum for whistleblower Edward Snowden, President Obama threatened to stay home and pout rather than attend Moscow summit, as Obama had previously planned to do.
written by Gee Pee, 07 August 2013
Jennifer Aniston panics about stripper role
Just as she's set to take on a stripper role in a new film, Jennifer Aniston admits to panicking as she wonders, Are my breasts up to it?
written by Gee Pee, 07 August 2013
"W" no longer heartless
Compassionate conservative George W. Bush received a heart during a recent operation. Surgeons say there's a 50-50% chance his body won't reject it as "foreign material."
written by Gee Pee, 07 August 2013
Condom ad shows men the consequences of unprotected sex
In a word: babies.
written by Gee Pee, 07 August 2013
South Korea's roads power cars as they drive
Now, all they need are the automobiles.
written by Gee Pee, 07 August 2013
Al Roker sleeps in
Al Roker missed his show, Wake Up with Al because he didn't wake up with Al. He forgot to set his alarm or was still passed out from the night before, colleagues say: "With Al, no one knows for sure."
written by Gee Pee, 07 August 2013
"She could have been my daughter," Obama says
African-American Tawana Brawley, who falsely claimed she'd been gang-raped by white men, has been forced to pay up after being sued for slander 26 years ago. Obama says the judgment is "unjust."
written by Gee Pee, 06 August 2013
Well, at least he got to third base. . . .
A third baseman was shocked, disappointed, and publicly humiliated when his would-be fiancee turned down his marriage proposal at a baseball game. "No," she said, "you're too much of a player!"
written by Gee Pee, 06 August 2013
Bush undergoes heart surgery
George W. Bush was rushed into surgery for a cardiac procedure as surgeons seek to install a heart in the former "compassionate conservative." Doctors give the procedure a 50-50% chance of success.
written by Gee Pee, 06 August 2013
New research on alcoholism
A recent study suggests that those who habitually drink to excess may be prone to alcoholism.
written by Gee Pee, 06 August 2013
Bill Clinton addresses Weiner scandal
Former president Bill Clinton advised Anthony Weiner to text images of only his flaccid penis. "That way, there's no indication of sexual intent," Clinton said. "I know: been there, done that."
written by Gee Pee, 06 August 2013
15-ton ball of fat removed from London sewer
Prince Charles, told of the removal of a 15-pound ball of fat from a London sewer, said, "I told Camilla not to eat so many pizzas and cheesecakes!" He assured Londoners she'll be "dieting hereafter."
written by Gee Pee, 06 August 2013
Linkedin: only ugly women can be engineers
When beautiful female engineers posted their photos on Linkedin, the company deleted them on the grounds that beauties cannot have the brains it takes to be engineers "unless they're driving a train."
written by Gee Pee, 06 August 2013
Lady Gaga sued
Wendy Starland and her former boyfriend Rob Fusari are suing Lady Gaga. They helped launch her career, they say, and now want "a piece of her--but not that piece."
written by Gee Pee, 06 August 2013
Lady Gaga's secret remains secret
A judge ordered that Lady Gaga does not have to reveal the "secert" that she was born a male. The information, he says, is "unimportant" to her case. He--uh, she--is being sued for being famous.
written by Gee Pee, 06 August 2013
Obama teed off
To celebrate his birthday, Barack Obama, 52, played golf with Tiger Woods' mistresses and ordered a birth certificate, which lists his age as "39" and his citizenship as "American, more or less."
written by Gee Pee, 06 August 2013
"Washington Post" sells out
Amazon's Jeff Bezos announced his decision to buy the washed-up Washington Post, which lost almost $50 million last year. "I did it so the paper won't fold. I want to save its comic strips," he said.
written by Gee Pee, 06 August 2013
MLB suspends players
Major League Baseball suspended all players on Monday. Commissioner Bud Selig said, "We're tired of this pussy sport and can't wait for football season to begin. Then, we can watch real men score."
written by Gee Pee, 06 August 2013
CNN anchor returns to airwaves
CNN anchor Anderson Cooper returned to duty recently following his recuperation from a double mastectomy.
written by Gee Pee, 05 August 2013
Obama does not want repeat of Benghazi
President Barack Obama has ordered all American embassies closed, for fear that another "phony" Benghazi scandal could erupt, should more U. S. diplomats be killed while he does nothing.
written by Gee Pee, 05 August 2013
Showing page 7 (of 15 pages)
