Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Mr Goster.
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Showing page 6 (of 7 pages)
Chaka Demus & Pliers
Chaka Demus & Pliers,those popular Reggae producers of hits like 'Informant' are actually called Winston ChakaDemus and Hubert Pliers.They are the richest men in Jamaica and quite rightly retired..
written by Mr Goster, 11 February 2011
'Rubble Rubble'
David Bowie's smash hit single 'Rebel Rebel' was originally called 'Rubble Rubble' and was about a rubbish tip in Camden,but a reporter pronounced it wrong in the press release.
written by Mr Goster, 11 February 2011
Man Cannot Live On Bread Alone
For lunch, Barry, 23, from Brighton had 14 slices of bread. However,with that he had 4 slices of ham, wotsits, a lucozade, and a mini mars bar. You see, the Bible is right, man can't live on bread alone.
written by Mr Goster, 11 February 2011
Man Flies By Seat Of His Pants
Great news from Belgium where a man ran very fast down a racetrack then pulled the inside of his pockets outside to make little wings,jumped into the air and glided for 40 feet,an unassisted record.
written by Mr Goster, 11 February 2011
Shefki Kuqi Signs For Toon
you couldn't make this up but I couldn't resist.Magical news for magpies fans,out the revolving door goes Andy Carroll,in comes N0.42 or is that his age?
written by Mr Goster, 11 February 2011
We're Talking Fractions Here
Mathematical Researchers at Stockholm University have revealed that five fourths of all children struggle with fractions.
written by Mr Goster, 11 February 2011
Softly Softly Catchy Monkey
Drama from Whipsnade Zoo where Carl,a baboon was trying to escape through a hole in the mesh fencing. Thankfully,Wilf Disney, in charge of the monkeys at the zoo, crept up quietly and caught him.
written by Mr Goster, 10 February 2011
United Fan Found In Manchester
Manchester United officials were up in arms this morning after finding out a fan had walked to the Stadium and lived less than a mile away.Spokesman Ken said,'traditionally our fans are from London.'
written by Mr Goster, 09 February 2011
Burglar Struck By Lightning Charged
Things went doubly wrong for have-a-go burglar Harvey Nichols,23,who tried to rob a local Nat West Bank in a thunderstorm.He got a right belt from a bolt as he tried to escape and was caught outside.
written by Mr Goster, 08 February 2011
It's A Small World
International News just in,and after years of research Harvard Scientists have confirmed there are only actually 3 kinds of people in the world. Those who can count and those who can't.
written by Mr Goster, 08 February 2011
Man Actually Reads Smallprint
Astonished staff at Carphone Warehouse in Milton Keynes were left gobsmacked when a customer actually read the smallprint to his contract.One assistant admitted she'd never seen that happen before.
written by Mr Goster, 08 February 2011
That's Gotta Hurt
A man in Cornwall brought tears to his eyes when he got totally confused after a ' medicinal smoking session' and wiped his arse with a rhino rather than a tissue.
It's easily done said his friend.
written by Mr Goster, 07 February 2011
Talentless Cotton Denial
That top broadcaster and music expert Fearn Cotton today furiously denied that she has no talent other than looking okay on telly.'It's my mate Holly Willoughby who's the one with NO talent.'
written by Mr Goster, 07 February 2011
Mole Climbs Mountain
Experienced adventurer,Maurice Harpsichord,57 made history today when he and his pet mole Phil climbed Everest.He said 'We've slayed a mountain,me and my mole Phil.'
written by Mr Goster, 06 February 2011
Man Eats Lion In Role Reversal
Roles were reversed at a barbecue in Kenya when a man had some lion steak.
written by Mr Goster, 06 February 2011
Man In Paracetamol Overdose Feels Better
Great news this morning when a young man Rich Pickings,23,from Somerset attempted a paracetamol overdose but after two of the tablets felt a lot better.
'I feel fine' said Rich
written by Mr Goster, 05 February 2011
Doughnut Maker Fed Up of Hole Business
Master Baker Clive Battenburg is quitting his doughnut restaurant because he is sick and tired of the 'hole' business.
'People don't appreciate the skill involved in making holes any more' he said.
written by Mr Goster, 05 February 2011
British Rail Ban Platform Shoes For Railway Workers
British Rail spokesman Chester Field this morning announced they are to ban all staff from wearing platform or stack heeled type shoes after a speight of ankle related injuries.'Flats only' he said.
written by Mr Goster, 05 February 2011
Man Tickles Himself To Death
Sad news from Brazil where doctors have been left mystified after a young student,Jose Chosenone Mourinho tickled himself to death.
written by Mr Goster, 04 February 2011
Psychic Wins Lottery
Police were called today to a house in Chiswick after a tip-off that the owner,a recent lottery winner is a professional Psychic.
Dave Petulengro wasn't worried and said ' I knew you were coming.'
written by Mr Goster, 04 February 2011
Weight Loss Woman Disappears
There was a warning for anyone attempting drastic weight loss today after Beryl Snatch,46,from Hull vanished from her home. Husband Ken said 'I told her she was overdoing it,and now she's gone.'
written by Mr Goster, 04 February 2011
Chef Bakes Humble Pie
When two friends fell out,one of them,chef Mike Rowave baked a Humble Pie for his friend to eat and say sorry.Sulky mate Steve said 'I've eaten humble pie and it was bloody lovely!'
written by Mr Goster, 04 February 2011
Worm Turns
It's not often you can witness a well known catchphrase but this morning on my garden I watched a worm that turned.Full circle if you don't mind, and went the other way.
written by Mr Goster, 04 February 2011
Man Finds Leg In Pot Noodle
Imagine being one of the first people to taste Pot Noodle's new 'Spicy Tandoori' flavour snack and finding a false leg inside!
Noel Fielding ,57,from Dewsbury added 'They said it had a kick to it!'
written by Mr Goster, 04 February 2011
Showing page 6 (of 7 pages)
