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Al Pacino's latest blockbuster
In his portrayal of a "sick bastard" who enjoys sex with animals, Al Pacino "plays with pussies" in his latest film, "Mange Horny."
written by Gee Pee, 31 August 2014
Airlines' plan to stop onboard "knee defender" fights
To prevent violence over passengers' defense of their knee space, airlines are now requiring above-the-knee amputations prior to passengers' boarding of aircraft--unless they've paid for first class.
written by Gee Pee, 31 August 2014
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt marry
Now that he's made an "honest woman" of Angelina, Brad says the "thrill" in their relationship is "gone."
written by Gee Pee, 31 August 2014
Angry Birds CEO to step down
Angry Birds CEO Mikael Hed will not head the Finnish company next year; he is being replaced because he is not "choleric" enough to effectively represent the hostile video game franchise.
written by Gee Pee, 29 August 2014
Ft. Hood shooter seeks release
Nidal Hasan, the Army shrink who killed 13 people in his 2009 shooting spree at Ft. Hood, TX, asked to be paroled so he can "have the privilege" of joining ISIS. President Obama may order his pardon.
written by Gee Pee, 29 August 2014
Chelsea Clinton "insulted" by NBC request
Spoiled brat Chelsea Clinton told NBC to take their job and "shove it," insulted by the request that she continue to intern at her current annual salary of $60,000." "I want more!" she explained.
written by Gee Pee, 29 August 2014
Ellen challenges Hillary
Hollywood lesbian Ellen Degenerate issued an ice bucket challenge to "friend" Hillary Clinton. "She's too cheap to donate money," Ellen said, "and she has hot hooters. I bet she has nice pokies!"
written by Gee Pee, 26 August 2014
Reid apologizes for being a racist
Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) told Asians he is sorry he's a racist after making offensive remarks about Chinese Americans and the Washington Redskins. "I was Wong," he admitted.
written by Gee Pee, 22 August 2014
If the shoe fits. . . .
During a speech in Las Vegas this week, eternal presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was hit by a shoe thrown by a heckler. On the shoe was written, "Benghazi!"
written by Gee Pee, 11 April 2014
Supreme Court sides with boobs
On Monday, the Supreme Court ruled that junior high and high school students have a right to study boobies, with only Justice Clarence Thomas dissenting. They also have the right to free condoms.
written by Gee Pee, 11 March 2014
Griffith Park murderer charged with multiple counts of murder
Gabriel Campos-Martinez was arrested and charged with six counts of murder, one for each of his boyfriend's body parts (head, hands, penis, and feet), which he allegedly dumped in Griffith Park.
written by Gee Pee, 11 March 2014
California dodges bullet
After surviving a 6.9 earthquake, California officials say they were lucky: "We dodged a bullet." However, God assures the Golden State that He hasd plenty more ammo left.
written by Gee Pee, 11 March 2014
Mattel designs new "Barbie fashions" for women
Mattel, the maker of Barbie, is selling 10 outfits that can help real women look more like the doll. "The impossible is possible now," the company says. The attire is available at exclusive boutiques.
written by Gee Pee, 09 March 2014
President Obummer: raise minimum wage
His daughters are likely to want to work soon, so the president has urged Congress to increase the minimum wage. Technological toys and fashion are "expensive," he says.
written by Gee Pee, 09 March 2014
Republicans to "stamp out" conservative challenges
Speaker of the House John Boehner has ordered extra large, clown-size shoes to help his party "stamp out" challenges to his party by conservative "factions" during the 2014 elections.
written by Gee Pee, 09 March 2014
UK universities not worth attending
An organization that ranks universities around the world say that UK colleges are "among the world's worst," ranking Oxford 1t 365 and Cambridge at 368, right behind the U. S.'s Harvard and Yale.
written by Gee Pee, 08 March 2014
Kardashian breaks wind
Reality TV star Kourtney Kardashian graced fans with a shot of her derriere when a gust of wind from a fan blew up her mini-skirt as she promoted her new TV show, Breaking Wind.
written by Gee Pee, 06 March 2014
Madonna: doing her part for charity
Singer Madonna, 54, showed her derriere in an event to raise money for charity and managed to collect $6.
written by Gee Pee, 06 March 2014
Sinclair admitshe's a bugger
Brig. Gen. Jeffrey Sinclair, charghed with sodomy, agreed to plead guilty to the lesser crime of buggery. President Obummer plans to award him the Congressional Medal of Honor in exhange for his plea.
written by Gee Pee, 06 March 2014
Ukraine tension remains high
Despite the much-vaunted massage skills of visiting U. S. Secretary of State John Kerry, tensions reportedly remain at an all-time high in Ukraine.
written by Gee Pee, 06 March 2014
Passenger to pilot: emasculate yourself!
A passenger aboard WetJet left a note on his cocktail napkin for the plane's male pilot: "real men don't occupy cockpits."
written by Gee Pee, 06 March 2014
Hillary: Putin "just like Hitler"
Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said that, in her "considered opinion," excpet for Putin's mustache, the Russian president looks "just like Hitler."
written by Gee Pee, 06 March 2014
Pistorius trial: witnesses heard "loud arguing" before shooting
Witnesses in the Oscar Pistorius trial testified to hearing "loud arguing" before shots were fired. Pistorus' attorneys claim the athlete was "arguing with himself." They didn't comment on the shots.
written by Gee Pee, 04 March 2014
Putin wants to host new Olympics
Russian president Vladimit ("The Impaler") Putin expressed interest in hosting another Olympics "as soon as possible" as a means of funding his country's invasion of Ukraine.
written by Gee Pee, 04 March 2014
Showing page 5 (of 15 pages)
