Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Mr Goster.
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Showing page 5 (of 7 pages)
Suck On A Fisherman's Friend
We all love to suck a Fisherman's Friend.Lancashire's most famous sweet is enjoying a comeback but did you know until 1937 when Health & Safety stepped in, they were actually made out of Fisherman!
written by Mr Goster, 17 February 2011
Gattuso Bangs Jordan
The bizarre behaviour of AC Milan's Gattuso continued after the game against Tottenham when he met Katie Price at a hotel and the two went at it like a pair of rabbits.
'I love Italians' she said.
written by Mr Goster, 16 February 2011
Cheryl Cole Still Has 'Her Ugly Days'
Speaking at The Brits Cheryl Cole admitted she doesn't always look so glamorous and still has 'ugly days.We all do,'she said.
Susan Boyle can't remember the last time she didn't have an ugly day!
written by Mr Goster, 16 February 2011
Tinie Tempah Throws Tantrum
drama at The Brit Awards where 2 time winner Tinie Tempah,real name Dwight Cufflink,threw a hissy fit at not winning Plan B's award as well.'I should have won best solo artist too,I'm well better.'
written by Mr Goster, 16 February 2011
Mr Muscle Loses His X-Factor
Until he was 22 years old,Irish leprechaun Louis Walsh was a 6ft 4" Champion Bodybuilder like Arnold Schwarzenneger.It's only since he stopped training that he became the shrivelled weasel we see now.
written by Mr Goster, 15 February 2011
Is That A Sprout I See Before Me
In Roman Times,because sprouts were so plentiful,Roman Gentlemen used to stuff them down their underpants to look more impressive in the bedroom department.
written by Mr Goster, 15 February 2011
Should have Been A Contender
The Inventors of Ice Cream never made a penny from their brilliance.Brian 'Vanilla' Ice,and Marcus 'Hand' Cream never patented their idea and were ripped off,which is what usually happens isn't it?
written by Mr Goster, 15 February 2011
Cricketer Catches Aeroplane
England Cricketer Paul Collingwood,renowned for his athletic fielding,stunned the crowd at The Oval today when he caught a low flying light aircraft at second slip.
'It's just instinct,' he said.
written by Mr Goster, 15 February 2011
Poorly Made Piggy Banks Not Worth Putting Money Into
Trading Standard Officers have seized a batch of rogue Piggy Banks that break very easily when gripped,warning shoppers they aren't worth putting your money into.
'They break very easily' said a man.
written by Mr Goster, 15 February 2011
Man Cons Pie Seller
Simple Simon,a local con man was going to a fair when he saw a mobile pie shop.
'I'd love one of your juicy steak pies,' said Si.
'No problem,'said the Pieman.
Simon took the pie and ran off.
written by Mr Goster, 13 February 2011
Something Sounds Fishy
Science Fact.Fish can't actually swim.It's an illusion and because we only ever see them in water we assume they must be swimming.They are just floating and using the currents to glide about a bit.
written by Mr Goster, 13 February 2011
Knock Knock,Who's There?
75% of all knock knock jokes come from the same family in Chester-Le-Street, County Durham.The Harrison family own the rights having bought them from the late Bob Monkhouse.
written by Mr Goster, 13 February 2011
Meat Loaf Not His Real Name
Rock superstar and 'Bat Out Of Hell' inventor Meat Loaf joked with fans today when he revealed Meat isn't his real name.I'm actually called Noel Sliced-White but Meat Loaf sounds more showbiz.
written by Mr Goster, 13 February 2011
Runaway Train Comes Over The Hill
A Runaway train came over the hill,and it blew,a runaway train came over the hill and it blew,then it went straight into the side of a pub.The Driver,Porter,Engineer and Fireman all shat themselves.
written by Mr Goster, 12 February 2011
Man Has Nasty Fall Off Wall
Harry Dumpty,42,from Swannage,sat on a wall,but shortly after that,he had a great fall.He split his skull open,Paramedics said 'he was very drunk so it's his own fault.Please drink responsibly.'
written by Mr Goster, 12 February 2011
Spider Drowns In Spout Tragedy
Incy Wincy spider climbed up the spout,trying to escape,but down came the rain in such volume that he couldn't cope and was drowned under the sheer weight of water.Tragic,should have been avoided.
written by Mr Goster, 12 February 2011
A Stitch In Time
As the old saying goes,'A Stitch In Time Saves Nine.'
Nine what? Cats,Dogs,Whistles,Sprouts,Balls of Wool,pound coins?
Whichever way you polish it up,it's a shite saying isn't it?
written by Mr Goster, 12 February 2011
Unlucky Alf Strikes Again
Poor Unlucky Alf,everything he does turns to shit.This morning,after months of taking artificial sweetener his false teeth rotted and fell out!
written by Mr Goster, 12 February 2011
Scientist Invents Fog Horn
A South African scientist has invented a Fog Horn made entirely from fog!
written by Mr Goster, 12 February 2011
Pooh Bear Not Real
Winnie -The-Pooh,or Pooh to his mates isn't really a bear.Infact he isn't even real,just a series of drawings that luckily for the writer Kevin Mayhem, really took off.
written by Mr Goster, 12 February 2011
Don't Worry About That My Lover
Norfolk is the only County in England where everybody who lives there is related. Mayor of the city, Uncle Jeff, said 'it's a really family atmosphere round here.'
written by Mr Goster, 11 February 2011
Fat Lass Goes For Skinny Dip
Overweight student Karen Wobble,22,defied her 20 stone frame and went for a midnight skinny dip.
'I just wanted to prove that fat people can go for a skinny dip,' she explained.
written by Mr Goster, 11 February 2011
Cows Don't Jump Over Moons
Contrary to popular belief,cows can't jump over the moon.They can't even jump over a cowpat and often tread it through Farmer Giles kitchen,much to the annoyance of his wife.'I'm sick of it'she said.
written by Mr Goster, 11 February 2011
You Are Taking The Pisa
The leaning tower of Pisa is actually from Lowestoft and was only shipped out to it's present site in 1967 when the then mayor of Lowestoft, Tommy Fudge retired there.It's his favourite building.
written by Mr Goster, 11 February 2011
Showing page 5 (of 7 pages)
