Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Inchcock.
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Showing page 42 (of 54 pages)
Ken Clarke in the dark on jobless in his own constituency!
"Well fancy that!"
written by Inchcock, 06 December 2011
Youth stole jewellery to give to his Mum!
Charged with burglary, rioting and encouraging a riot, conspiracy to manufacture firearms, & violent disorder. A Nottingham youth (22) said he took the gems to give his Mother!
"What a kind thought!"
written by Inchcock, 06 December 2011
Petrol bombs found in Nottingham Street!
A man "went crazy" and damaged a car with an estate agent sign after he dropped a plastic bag in the street which police later found contained 3 petrol bombs.
"Nothing unusual for Nottingham there then!"
written by Inchcock, 06 December 2011
Mother had Christmas presents stolen from her car on her driveway in Sherwood, Nottingham
She also had her leather jacket and some cash taken from the Mini Cooper's boot.
"In Nottingham... well I am surprised!"
written by Inchcock, 05 December 2011
Fabio Capello - I am definitely quitting!
Fabio Capello, last night insisted: 'I am definitely quitting after Euro 2012.'
"Do you have to wait that long?"
written by Inchcock, 04 December 2011
Nick Clegg says - Our supporters deserve to be listened to!
"Of course finding any will be the real problem!"
written by Inchcock, 03 December 2011
Footballer's agents get £71.8m from the Premier League!
Paid so far this season:
Top payers
Man City £9.7m
Tottenham £7.6m
Liverpool £7m
Chelsea £6.5m
Newcastle £6.3m
Arsenal £4.6m
Man Utd £4.5m
What would kids like to be when they grow up nowadays?
written by Inchcock, 02 December 2011
Occupation Claimed to be the oldest in history, still going strong in Africa!
The African Dung Beetles Occupation of Elephant Dung!
written by Inchcock, 02 December 2011
Jeremy Clarkson: All strikers should be shot!
TV motor-mouth Jeremy Clarkson caused a storm by saying yesterday's two million strikers should all be shot.
"How kind and understanding of him!"
written by Inchcock, 01 December 2011
20mph Limits on Nottingham roads
Consultation is under way on plans to cut speed limits in Sherwood, Nottingham to 20mph - then be rolled out elsewhere.
"Good idea? We can't enforce the 30mph limits now!"
written by Inchcock, 01 December 2011
George Osborne warns unions of further pay restraints
Now that is a real professional nepotist Minister's response to a National strike!
written by Inchcock, 30 November 2011
Nick Clegg - affects of Marijuana
He admitted trying marijuana years ago, he didn't like it, saying it distorted his perceptions, impaired his thinking, and made him a bit queer.
We wonder when all these side-effects will wear off?
written by Inchcock, 30 November 2011
Is Chelsea's Juan Mata, in financial trouble?
It was reported in a local paper that Juan Mata, transferred from Valencia to Chelsea for £27.5m, and on £115384.65 a week wages, has failed to pay a £15 litter fine.
Could we have a collection for him?
written by Inchcock, 29 November 2011
Nottingham city centre restaurant owners say that changes to parking charges will hurt their businesses
On-street parking in the city used to be free after 6pm. But since November 14, charges have applied from 6pm until 8pm.
"I can't understand their problem, just look at how many other businesses have collapsed already in Nottingham... are they moaning?"
written by Inchcock, 29 November 2011
Guess who's wife is selling Christmas cards at over £13 each?
Samantha Cameron's Bond Street stationery firm is selling luxury Christmas cards at more than £13 EACH!.
"Well who'd have believed it?"
written by Inchcock, 29 November 2011
For George Osborne, unemployment is a price worth paying!
Oh I am glad!
I'm sure the 2.68 million people unemployed might disagree with the millionaire Minister!
written by Inchcock, 29 November 2011
UK - 60,00 criminals spared jail - despite committing over 15 crimes each!
What was it Cameron pledged?
"To scrap the early release of prisoners, toughen prison regimes, and protect the public from criminals?" - Ha!
written by Inchcock, 29 November 2011
Outlook for UK jobs worsens!
The independent Office for Budget Responsibility is to downgrade its previous prediction that job cuts will be outweighed by expansion in the private sector. The figures will be grim!
"Fancy that!"
written by Inchcock, 29 November 2011
Nottingham Special Constable hit by car, leg broken in three places
Her leg was broken in three places when she was struck by a car in Shakespeare Street while attending a disturbance, says she is determined to be back on patrol as soon as possible.
"Good for her, well done gal!"
written by Inchcock, 28 November 2011
Black Death in Nottingham
1348, the population of Nottingham was 3000 people, half which dies in the epidemic.
Today we have 20,524 claiming Jobseekers allowance, who's hopes have died!
written by Inchcock, 28 November 2011
Britain is being overrun by pests - why? - Cut backs!
A "perfect storm" of public-sector cuts and the unseasonally warm weather is causing an infestations in British houses.
That I think, includes more rats in the Houses of Parliament too!
written by Inchcock, 27 November 2011
21 Rough sleepers found in Nottingham City centre
Framework, the charity that tries to help them said; This time last year there was 3 found, today we found 21, one of them dead on the pavement!
The funding for Framework has been cut by 45%!
written by Inchcock, 26 November 2011
MP lets off teargas in parliament!
An opposition MP set off a teargas canister in the South Korean parliament in a failed bid to block a controversial free trade deal with the US.
FAO: Mr Miliband?
written by Inchcock, 26 November 2011
Number of NEETs in the UK reaches 1.1 million!
NEETs' = Not in Education, Employment or Training - has hit a record high. The grim data was published just a week after youth unemployment topped 1 million.
"That's not neets to know is it?"
written by Inchcock, 26 November 2011
Showing page 42 (of 54 pages)
