Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Inchcock.
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Showing page 41 (of 54 pages)
Cameron warns of tougher than Thatcher years to come!
Cameron last night warned of a year ahead "tougher than the first two" under Margaret Thatcher in the early 80s.
'Tought for who? - As if I need to ask!'
written by Inchcock, 22 December 2011
David Cameron's trip to Afghanistan troops
The fool flew to visit troops whose jobs and pensions he is targeting with his pay-freeze and allowance cuts!
Photo's of Cameron's visit
written by Inchcock, 21 December 2011
Ken Clarke let's criminals off of £2 million in fines!
MPs were livid that criminals will avoid paying £3 in every £4 imposed.
A Nottingham Pensioner said: 'I wonder if I beg nicely, they might let me off of the Electricity bill I cannot afford to pay?'
written by Inchcock, 21 December 2011
2011 Olympic Games Parking Mayhem
Millions of Brits face fines of £3,800 during the Olympics unless they have permits to park outside their own homes. Fleets of "spy cars" will help catch offenders.
'I bet that politicians will be exempt!'
written by Inchcock, 20 December 2011
Official commiserations to the Poor of Britain!
It is with great regret and sorrow, that we have to announce that David Cameron is not dead.
written by Inchcock, 20 December 2011
Nottingham man fined £60 for feeding the Ducks!
Last week he was fined £60 for feeding the Ducks on the Trent embankment.
The 208 break-ins, 34 muggings, and 2 stabbings, over the same week are still being investigated.
written by Inchcock, 19 December 2011
Armed Robbers get away with Cash in Nottingham
Armed robbers made off with cash after raiding a post office in Sherwood, Nottingham.
'In Nottingham?, who'd have believed it!'
written by Inchcock, 19 December 2011
Bookies slash odds on a White Christmas!
As 'Arctic' weather swept across Britain yesterday.
Forecasters warn of much more to come with downpours and plummeting temperatures ahead.
"I blame Bing Crosby!"
written by Inchcock, 18 December 2011
Highways Agency say it has 500 gritters on standby for the coming Arctic weather!
Oh good.
With 296,988 miles of road in the UK, that's what?
593,976 miles of road to grit each day for each gritter?
Sounds a lot to me!
written by Inchcock, 18 December 2011
Complaints against Notts Police significantly down in 2011
Not surprising really is it?
There are 280 less officers to complain against now.
Thanks to the the Coalition Government's fight against crime!
written by Inchcock, 18 December 2011
Cameron: We're getting it right!
2.8m Unemployed in the UK may not agree!
6,923,706 victims of crimes in the UK may not agree!
1,000's of NHS patients waiting for procedures may not
Struggling police and troops may not agree!
written by Inchcock, 17 December 2011
Murderer Stuart Campbell, wants double pay over Christmas!
Jailed murderer Stuart Campbell has complained about his having to work in the kitchens over Christmas without double pay!
His 15 year old female victims parents must be boiling at this!
written by Inchcock, 16 December 2011
Newcastle United, eye up Nice midfielder Kafoumba Coulibaly
Newcastle United want Nice midfielder Kafoumba Coulibaly!
What if he wasn't a nice man then?.... ah I see now, Nice in France! Silly me!
written by Inchcock, 16 December 2011
Rio Ferdinand: It's not the players fault we lost!
Rio Ferdinand has defended Manchester United's young guns and insisted: "It's not their fault we are out of the Champions League."
'Well who do you blame? Man City perhaps?'
written by Inchcock, 16 December 2011
David Cameron says he's right behind William Hague!
Sounds like they're all at it in the Conservative Party!
written by Inchcock, 12 December 2011
Nottingham's 2010 records
Average Unemployment:
National 7.9% - Nottingham 14.9%
Overall Crime per 1000 of the population:
National: 1.9 - Nottingham 4.1
Come visit us sometime!
written by Inchcock, 11 December 2011
O Come All Ye Faithful - rewritten for the Coalition's Christmas celebrations!
O Come All Ye Unfaithful!
written by Inchcock, 11 December 2011
Commemorative: 2.6m BC: Tools... technology was born!
The first people to make and use them for killing were barely human at all - they were a human-like species called Homo habilis ('skilful person').
'We have come a long way, now our weapons can kill million at a time!'
written by Inchcock, 11 December 2011
Beckham: I won't manage after playing!
'I'm sure so many pensioners, especially those that will die through hypothermia this year again, will be pleased to hear that!'
written by Inchcock, 11 December 2011
Miodrag Dzudovic begged UEFA for leniency for Rooney!
The player Wayne Rooney kicked to earn his red card has pleaded with UEFA to cut the England star's three-match Euro 2012 ban.
"No good begging without a back-hander there Miodrag midduck!"
written by Inchcock, 10 December 2011
Health & Safety Laws to be axed in UK
Think tank 'Civitas' says firms are spending £1bn a year complying with equality legislation. Axing them will save money.
'That would be the think tank that costs us £15,000 a day?'
written by Inchcock, 09 December 2011
Ban on calculators to boost kids' maths
UK pupils are to be banned from using calculators in primary schools - in a bid to better their maths skills.
'How come they were allowed in schools in the first olace?'
written by Inchcock, 09 December 2011
Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne - To make more cuts!
Not surprising really, an anagram of his name is Serene go-go rob!
written by Inchcock, 08 December 2011
War with Iran a step closer
A senior US official warned if no diplomatic solution is reached over Tehran's nuclear programme it could mean war.
I hope the UK's told the US about our military cut-backs?
written by Inchcock, 07 December 2011
Showing page 41 (of 54 pages)
