Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Mr Goster.
Show all snippets.
Showing page 4 (of 7 pages)
JLS Have Lucky Escape
Boy band JLS had a lucky escape at the NME Awards when they were pipped to 'The Worst Band' Award by Jonas Brothers.
An NME spokesman said 'They're still Shite though!'
written by Mr Goster, 24 February 2011
Andy Pops His Clogs
Sad news from the Entertainment World, children's favourite Andy Pandy has passed away at the age of 137 still dressed in his blue romper suit and clogs.
'He's had a good run' said his Mum Irene.
written by Mr Goster, 24 February 2011
Morph-Tastic!
Popular 'Take Hart' funny man and Tony Hart sidekick Morph is to be immortalised in his home town of Letchworth with an 8ft statue made from plasticine.
'He's a great lad,he deserves it' said Tony.
written by Mr Goster, 24 February 2011
It's Friday,It's Five To Five & It's Crackerjack
Popular 70's children's programme is to make a long overdue return with Vernon Kay as the host and James Corden playing the Peter Glaze Funnyman role.
'It's going to be great' said Corden's Mum Rita.
written by Mr Goster, 24 February 2011
Biggins Goes Commando
In what must have looked like something out of a cheap porn film but also incredibly brave,Chris Biggins was spotted 'commando' style in a pair of White Linen slacks!
'It was graphic' said a man.
written by Mr Goster, 23 February 2011
It's Halle Blackberry To You
In Hollywood News,beautiful leading lady Halle Berry has married Cheeky Fat Lad Jack Black after a whirlwind romance.
She wants to be known as Halle Blackberry.
written by Mr Goster, 22 February 2011
Computer Mouse
The Computer Mouse,invented 30 years ago looks nothing like a real mouse and is quite easily the worst lookalike gadget ever created.
Computer Guru Bill Gates said 'they are a bit sh*t.'
written by Mr Goster, 22 February 2011
Comedy Dave In Trouble
The Trade Descriptions Act was passed in 1968 to stop people being conned on all manner of things.DJ Chris Moyles's sidekick 'Comedy' Dave is the latest example of a product that's not fit for purpose
written by Mr Goster, 22 February 2011
Moth Balls
In Victorian Times because Moth Balls were so plentiful,they were often used for cereal,as a breakfast substitute for the more expensive Weetabix.Apparently they are delicious with warm milk.
written by Mr Goster, 22 February 2011
Liquorice Allsorts
Popular British Sweets 'Liquorice Allsorts' were invented in 1736 in Bradford, but because liquorice was in short supply they were originally made out of coloured play-doh and rubber offcuts.
written by Mr Goster, 20 February 2011
Cats Eyes
The man who invented Cats Eyes, Jeff Radish originally used real cats eyes. Things went great for a couple of weeks until people started noticing that all the cats in his village were blind.
written by Mr Goster, 20 February 2011
Monkey Business
Scientists have finally proven that a monkey left in a room with a typewriter will not write the complete works of Shakespeare.He will actually cover the room in excrement and wreck the typewriter.
written by Mr Goster, 20 February 2011
Paul McCartney Admits He's Quite Vain
Genius and all round nice guy and most popular Beatle still alive,Sir Paul('I'm older than 64 now')McCartney has finally admitted he is quite vain.
'I've still got all me own hair you know.'he said.
written by Mr Goster, 19 February 2011
Bieber's Balls Drop
Pop Phenomenon Justin Bieber today won £10 when he got three numbers on the National Lottery.
'It all counts' said Bieber.
written by Mr Goster, 19 February 2011
Fresh Roadkill
A Hedgehog's heart beats 300 times a minute, and that doubles during sexual arousal which sadly causes it to explode! Next time you see one splattered on the road, you know it at least died happy.
written by Mr Goster, 19 February 2011
Kids, Don't Try This At Home
Transport worker Laurie Driver paid the ultimate penalty when he tried to sneeze with his eyes open and his head blew off!
'It's very sad really,' said his wife.
written by Mr Goster, 19 February 2011
Memory Like A Sieve
Poor Goldfish,not only do they get stuffed in a little bowlwith a terrible view,but they also only have a 3 second memory span...'We need a loaf...I'll have a cup of tea please.'
written by Mr Goster, 19 February 2011
That's Tremendous
Only 4 words in the English language end in OUS.Horrendous,Stupendous,Hazardous and Tremendous.Isn't that Fabulous!
written by Mr Goster, 19 February 2011
Huckleberry Hound Finds Nephew
Popular moustache wearer and all round funny man and nice guy Rufus Hound is the nephew of 70's Cartoon Favourite Huckleberry Hound.
written by Mr Goster, 18 February 2011
Ga Ga Double Record
Pop sensation Lady Ga Ga is the only person ever to both eat a Pastrami sandwich and wear one in the same day.
written by Mr Goster, 18 February 2011
Elton's Hair Is Fabricated
In hairdressing news Elton John's stylist has finally revealed what many of us suspected,telling reporters it's actually made from a mix of polycarbon fibres,kevlar and weasel hair.
written by Mr Goster, 18 February 2011
Colin Firth Is Worried
Colin Firth,the Nation's darling and all round lovely man has admitted he's starting to worry whether his popularity is on the wane.
'It's nearly four days since I won an award now,' said Colin.
written by Mr Goster, 18 February 2011
Rainbow Drops Made From Real Rainbows
Those lovely sweets from our childhood, Rainbow Drops have been voted 'Best Value For Money Sweet Of the Year' for the 17th year running.It's official,they do last all day.
written by Mr Goster, 17 February 2011
Mint Imperials-Humbug!
Mint Imperials are imposter sweets! They aren't even mint,just pure sugar.And Imperial? Regal and Magnificent?
I don't think so.Stick to the real deal with minty sweets and have a humbug.
written by Mr Goster, 17 February 2011
Showing page 4 (of 7 pages)
