Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Inchcock.
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Showing page 38 (of 54 pages)
Paul Daniels chopped off finger with circular saw!
Now that is Magic?
Paul Daniels after accident photo & report
written by Inchcock, 25 January 2012
British flags burnt in Argentinian demo!
24 Jan 2012: Demonstrators set fire to Union flags outside the British embassy in Buenos Aires yesterday in protest over the Falkland Islands.
"Oh dear..."
written by Inchcock, 25 January 2012
Wayne Rooney now the 4th wealthy footballer!
Dave Beckham £112 million
Michael Owen £37 million
Robbie Fowler £31 million
Wayne Rooney £30 million
"I'm so overjoyed and ecstatic for them!"
written by Inchcock, 25 January 2012
19 year old Gemma Baker disguised herself as a boy, to date girls!
She now faces jail after admitting sexual assault.
"Well well, fancy that!"
written by Inchcock, 25 January 2012
UK Unemployment figures worst for 17 year!
"I wonder if David Cameron has been told about this - or if it bothers him at all?"
Maybe not.
written by Inchcock, 24 January 2012
24 Jan 2012: UK Unemployment reaches 17-year High!
More than 1 in 4 workers are in part-time jobs - as unemployment hits a 17-year high!
UK unemployment rose to 2.69 million.
"Will someone please ask Cameron if he knows about this - he's not answering my emails!"
written by Inchcock, 24 January 2012
A Jobless graduate yesterday Sues the Government for "forcing" her to stack shelves in Poundland!
Graduate, Cait Reilly, 22 - who left Birmingham University in July 2010 - was told to do two weeks unpaid work at the city's bargain store or lose her Jobseeker's Allowance.
"What do you think?"
written by Inchcock, 24 January 2012
Nick Clegg warns Chris Huhne
24th Jan 2012: Nick Clegg yesterday warned Chris Huhne there is no chance of him staying in the Cabinet if he is charged with a criminal cover-up.
"He can stay on as an MP and Lib-dem member can he?"
written by Inchcock, 24 January 2012
Miliband: Polls? I take them with a pinch of sugar!
24 Jan 2012: The beleaguered Labour leader had meant to say "a pinch of salt".
"How sweet!"
written by Inchcock, 24 January 2012
Fuel Prices to Soar!
24 Jan 2012: Fuel prices could go up up to by 40% after Iran yesterday threatened to block the world's busiest shipping lane over sanctions to stop it building a nuclear bomb.
"Worrying isn't it?"
written by Inchcock, 24 January 2012
Earl of Mansfield's son acquitted on rape charge!
Honourable James Murray, Eton aristocrat who admitted having sex with a schoolgirl within days of her 16th birthday walked smiling from court yesterday after he was cleared of rape.
Nepotistic Git!
written by Inchcock, 23 January 2012
625 Drivers who caused Death, back on the road!
625 killers have been allowed back behind the wheel.
317 Drunks - 148 who caused death dangerous driving, 138 for dangerous driving, 13 who took a life while unlicensed/disqualified!
"WHY?"
written by Inchcock, 23 January 2012
Shut-eye can preserve painful memories!
Daily Mail: In tests, researchers showed that people made to watch an upsetting or traumatic event felt less emotional if they stayed awake afterwards.
"I've always wanted that clarifying you know!"
written by Inchcock, 23 January 2012
Romanian Big Issue seller given legal right to claim housing benefits
The unmarried mother-of-four currently claims £26,547.60 in benefits each year.
That will rise by a minimum of £2,900 when she receives her additional housing allowance.
"Oh I am glad for her!"
written by Inchcock, 22 January 2012
UK's most notorious killers will rot in jail after judges told them: Life means life!
Britain's most notorious killers will rot in jail after judges told them: Life means life. (Daily Star)
"Yes, I'll believe that when I see it, and I'm too old to live that long!"
written by Inchcock, 21 January 2012
Week holiday to Majorca is £264 cheaper than Devon... according to Thomas Cook
"Weeks holiday?... what's that then? - oh I remember!"
written by Inchcock, 20 January 2012
Welfare Reform Bill: The Lords to sort who will lose out
"Well certainly NOT off-shore account holders, Policticians and their families, Barclay's Bank Advisor's, the wealthy, or the prison inmates population!
written by Inchcock, 19 January 2012
Royal Bank of Scotland gives bonus to £5m to investment chief!
RBS proposes to give a £5million bonus to its investment banking chief, with another £7million for its chief executive. After refusing to save Peacocks retailer (10,000 staff to go) with a £4 loan.
written by Inchcock, 19 January 2012
Ed Miliband - We Cannot reverse Coalition cut-backs!
Gaurdian on-line
"Well I am amazed!"
written by Inchcock, 18 January 2012
Two-faced David Cameron is a Con-man!
Reports the Daily Mail on-line.
"We know that - tell us how to stop him please!"
written by Inchcock, 18 January 2012
Government announces: 2 Years Sentence, if sub-let Council Homes
But if MPs fiddle thousands of pounds on expense claims for second home etc, they get a telling off, and their expense limits increased!!!!
"Nepotist gits!"
written by Inchcock, 18 January 2012
New evidence of Tory plans to privatise NHS by stealth!
Government sent letters to primary care trusts demanding they identify at least 3 services that can be handed to the private sector.
Cameron breaking his pledges again!
"Why am I not surprised!"
written by Inchcock, 18 January 2012
Nick Clegg in Nottingham
I went along to a Nottingham Lib Dem supporters event at the weekend.
Neither of them spoke to me!
written by Inchcock, 18 January 2012
Frost and freezing Fog on its way to the UK - Traffic chaos expected!
I blame the Coalition for this!
written by Inchcock, 17 January 2012
Showing page 38 (of 54 pages)
