Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Inchcock.
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Showing page 34 (of 54 pages)
4 inches of snowfall to blanket Britain!
Snow return: Britain braced for 4 inches of snowfall as big freeze intensifies.
"Shit!"
written by Inchcock, 09 February 2012
Nottingham couple win £45m on EuroMillions lottery!
£45,160,170.50!!!
"I'm so, so glad for them!"
written by Inchcock, 09 February 2012
David Cameron: Coalition will force NHS bill on to statute book!
"Well fancy that!"
written by Inchcock, 09 February 2012
Why you should love your Big Bottom!
Why you should love your...Big Bottom: The physical flaws that are good for your health!
Daily Mail: Love your Big Bottom!
"Fat comes in good and bad forms!"
written by Inchcock, 09 February 2012
Classic Ferrari 1963 model becomes most expensive car ever sold in Britain
A classic Ferrari has become the most expensive car ever sold in Britain - changing hands for a staggering £20.2m
"Well, with Rail fares ever rising?"
written by Inchcock, 09 February 2012
1000's of ankle-snappers start school without potty training!
1000's of children start school without being toilet trained with rising number still in nappies.
Daily Mail
"Well: Hundreds of MPs start in Parliament without morals!"
written by Inchcock, 09 February 2012
Study confirms: You are more likely to die if taken to hospital at weekend!
Chances of recovery are less because doctors are absent and tests are not always available.
Study finds that Sunday patients are 16 per cent more likely to die than other days.
"Oh, flippin' 'eck!"
written by Inchcock, 08 February 2012
UK Jails are close to full!
Justice Secretary, and alcohlic Ken Clarke last night warned jails could soon run out of space - as the prison population reached 89,927.
"Well build more then, use the bankers bonus money!"
written by Inchcock, 07 February 2012
Queen celebrate 60 years as Monarch
THE Queen celebrated 60 years as monarch yesterday by watching children perform The Time Warp.
"I've just celebrated 65 years of impecuniousness wondering how to pay off my electricity bill!"
written by Inchcock, 07 February 2012
Co-op gets 64,000 job applications for 400 posts
Co-operative Group has received a staggering 64,000 inquiries for 400 apprenticeship posts.
"Nothing surprising about that nowadays in Cameronland... I mean England!"
written by Inchcock, 07 February 2012
£23.3million annual bill for translators in the NHS
Taxpayers are footing a £23.3million annual bill, £64,000 a day, for translators in the NHS, it was revealed yesterday.
"That's all right then, just as long as we know!"
written by Inchcock, 07 February 2012
Could the Lib Dems change sides?
Will the coalition break up? Could the Lib Dems change sides?
Guardian blog
"That would be interesting!"
written by Inchcock, 07 February 2012
Maria Miller, a minister in the DWP, has claimed that there's no job shortage!
Conservative minister in the DWP said that the UK does not have "a shortage of jobs", but unemployed people lack the skills that they need.
"There you are then, if a Tory says it, it must be true!"
written by Inchcock, 07 February 2012
7th Feb 2011: UK Voting Intention Poll
Conservatives 41%
Labour 40%
Lib-Dems 8%
Others 11%
"If Labour can't lead now - will they ever?"
written by Inchcock, 07 February 2012
Top Totty brand of beer is banned from Parliament
Top Totty was banned from a Parliamentary bar today because its pump plate featuring a half-naked lady.
"I suppose Willie Hague would have preferred a half-naked man?"
written by Inchcock, 07 February 2012
6,000 Council House Tenants earning more than £100,000
15,000 tenants in social housing even though they have household incomes of more than £80,000 - with 6,000 earning more than £100,000.
Just thought you'd like to know!"
written by Inchcock, 07 February 2012
Cameron - Youths Jobs Vow
David Cameron vows firms would be offered cash incentives to take on 40,000 extra trainees.
"Vows?... er VAT, NHS, pensions, bank bonuses, expense fiddling???? - Cameron vows indeed, my arse!"
written by Inchcock, 07 February 2012
Every MP is to get a trendy £500 iPad - funded by the taxpayer
Parliament bosses want to splash out over £250,000 on the Apple gadgets after 16 MPs who tested them said they helped with their Parliamentary duties and would cut paper costs.
"What a load of <@**:'s!"
written by Inchcock, 07 February 2012
French president attacks Britain for "having no industry"
Cameron replied: "Well, we have Peugeot, Honda, and Toyota factories.. and er..."
"Nuff said!"
written by Inchcock, 07 February 2012
1932: Stalin kills 20 million ethic Russians, more than the Germans did in WW2!
Just a reminder.
written by Inchcock, 07 February 2012
Cameron wants more patients at the dentist!
Minsters will unveil plans today to get a million extra patients signed up with an NHS dentist.
"In readiness no doubt for when they are all privatised!"
written by Inchcock, 07 February 2012
Cathedral verger groped married woman's breasts!
Cathedral verger 'groped married woman's breasts shortly before service was due to start'
Daily Mail - Groping verger
Must have been short on Choirboys that day?
written by Inchcock, 06 February 2012
US man charged with eating brains of his homeless murder victim
A US man charged with hacking a homeless man to death with an axe and eating his brain was ordered to undergo a psychiatric evaluation.
"Bet he gets compensation if he catches Huntington's Disease!"
written by Inchcock, 06 February 2012
London's Big Ben is leaning - Parliament is sinking!
Well the morals of the MPs inside the building have been sinking for years!
written by Inchcock, 05 February 2012
Showing page 34 (of 54 pages)
