Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Inchcock.
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Showing page 32 (of 54 pages)
David Cameron promises to tackle Alcohol Abuse!
"Promises?... Cameron?... huh!"
written by Inchcock, 16 February 2012
100's die in Honduras prison blaze
356 prisoners were feared dead in a prison blaze last night - many burned alive in their cells because fire crews could not find the keys.
"Ah well,,,"
written by Inchcock, 16 February 2012
Wayne Rooney buys £63,000 racehorse
Makes a change for him, from buying £1000 do high-class nags?
written by Inchcock, 16 February 2012
'Broke' HSBC worker told to repay £59 of £1million fraud
Eliasia Ho-Shing was told to raise the cash by selling her broken down car for scrap after a confiscation hearing learned she was broke.
"Amazing innit!"
written by Inchcock, 16 February 2012
Kate Middleton receives Valentine's Day cupcake from admirer aged eight
"Well, that puts terrorism, war, murders, muggings, starvation, cancer, and riots off the front pages?"
written by Inchcock, 16 February 2012
Mugging victim fined!
A mugging victim was fined for smoking in the park when lighting up after she had been mugged in Nottingham.
The fine was later rescinded though.
"Caring lot in Nottingham aren't they?"
written by Inchcock, 16 February 2012
Council spends £5,180 on bus stop where there is no bus service!
Officials shelled out £1,800 demolishing the old shelter and £2,800 putting up a new one, before residents pointed out the mistake!
Durham, Durham... Durham Durham Durham...
written by Inchcock, 16 February 2012
Yellow second hand cars 'most likely to be defective!'
Some of the best-known examples of yellow vehicles, such as Mr Bean's Mini and Del Trotter's Reliant van, do little to contradict the theory.
The safest buy was orange.
"Well fancy that!"
written by Inchcock, 16 February 2012
TV Advert for dogs takes a bow-wow!
The one-minute clip advertising dog food contains high frequency noises above 17,000 Hertz - which can only be heard by man's best friend!
"What will they do for Snake food food adverts?
written by Inchcock, 16 February 2012
Los Angeles Drive-through funeral parlour
The Robert L. Adams drive-through funeral home first opened in 1974 and is only one of a handful in the US, which also gave the world drive-through restaurants and banks.
"Well what next?"
written by Inchcock, 16 February 2012
Theresa May's fat cats get bonuses
50+ fat cat Home Office bureaucrats bagged bonuses of up to £45,000 last year just for doing their jobs, it emerged yesterday.
"The nepotistic swine's in Government make me want to... oh never mind!"
written by Inchcock, 15 February 2012
Motorbike thefts in UK have dropped!
Motorbike thefts have dropped in the UK, to about 24,000 per year, but at least 65% are never recovered.
"Good news?"
written by Inchcock, 15 February 2012
Two pop legends roll back into the Charts!
Sir Paul McCartney, 69, and Sir Mick Jagger (68)!
"Oh good... will that help me pay my utility bills at all?"
written by Inchcock, 15 February 2012
13th Feb 2012: UK Unemployment likely to worsen!
According to The Chartered Institute of Personnel Development.
"Did we need an Institute to tell us this?"
written by Inchcock, 15 February 2012
Drunk York student arrested for 'frying hamster!'
Police made the unwelcome discovery of a fried hamster after being called out to reports of a noisy, drunken party in the city's student apartment.
"Was he training to be a chef or vet?"
written by Inchcock, 14 February 2012
Commuters step over unconscious schoolboy to get tram
Oliver Tiplady, 14, was on a tram platform at 8am when he fainted cracking his head. Rather than rushing to help, commuters ignored him, some even stepping over him to board their tram.
"Samaritan-less UK!"
written by Inchcock, 14 February 2012
Sex Swap Man First to Give Birth in UK
The man, in his 30s, had the child last year, said transgender group, the Beaumont Society.
He is the forth man do so.
"Well I never!"
written by Inchcock, 14 February 2012
Expenses Scandal Is Back - as MPs Claims Soar Again!
MPs' expenses £46.7million this year?
Taxpayer-funded bill for MPs' salaries and expenses, & cost of their staff, is expected to reach a total of £166.7million this financial year.
"Well fancy that!"
written by Inchcock, 14 February 2012
Murder suspect Barry Morrow found hanged in prison cell!
Morrow, 52, was due to face trial in May over the deaths of Angela Holgate, 54, and Alice Huyton, 75, whose strangled bodies were found at Mrs Holgate's home in Merseyside.
"Good!"
written by Inchcock, 14 February 2012
RBS bankers arrested in tax fraud investigation
HMRC says five current and former employees of Edinburgh-based bank were detained in investigation into personal financial affairs.
"Good news at last!"
written by Inchcock, 14 February 2012
Political Parties Expense Claims
For May to August 2011
Conservative £1.7m
Labour £1.3m
Lib-Dem £0.3m
"Something for us to ponder on I thought?"
written by Inchcock, 13 February 2012
House of Lords expenses: £23,000 a year - per Lord
"Lord above!"
written by Inchcock, 13 February 2012
Andrew Lansley rules out resigning over NHS reforms
"Well blow me, fancy that, would you believe it?!
written by Inchcock, 13 February 2012
HSBC boss in line for £12.5m pay
HSBC is expected to pay chief executive Stuart Gulliver up to £12.5 million in salary, bonuses and incentive shares for the past year.
"Good for him... I'm so pleased!"
written by Inchcock, 13 February 2012
Showing page 32 (of 54 pages)
