Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Inchcock.
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Showing page 31 (of 54 pages)
Britain faces a hosepipe ban this summer!
Environment Secretary Caroline Spelman: Britain faces a hosepipe ban this summer.
Like every summer innit?
written by Inchcock, 23 February 2012
Nottingham's Robin Hood Marathon cancelled
The Robin Hood Marathon will not go ahead this year because the route is no longer "safe and viable", according to the organisers.
"Blow it, I'd just oiled me zimmer-frame as well!"
written by Inchcock, 22 February 2012
Britain's army of MOD civil servants share £40m in bonuses!
Britain's army of Ministry of Defence civil servants share £40million in bonuses!
"Why are we allowing this?"
written by Inchcock, 22 February 2012
Manchester City offer £58m for Cesc Fabregas!
Man City will offer a staggering £58million for the Arsenal star.
"That reminds me, I must get some athlete's foot cream from the Pound Shop!"
written by Inchcock, 22 February 2012
Pensioners to lose bus-passes, TV licences. and Winter fuel payments!
Social Market Foundation: OAP's should lose their free bus travel, winter fuel payments and free TV licences.
"You B-----DS!"
written by Inchcock, 22 February 2012
Trapped driver lives on snow for two months in -30º temps
Incredible ice man Peter Skyllberg lost three stones after living on nothing but snow since being trapped in drifts on a lonely forest road in the week before Christmas.
Daily Express
"Amazing!"
written by Inchcock, 22 February 2012
Gordon Brown's £1.4m bonanza His cash since leaving No10
Gordon Brown has earned £1.4m since leaving Number 10!
The huge sum includes £63,000 from a Chinese investment firm and £50,000 from the Saudi royal family.
"I'm overjoyed for him!"
written by Inchcock, 21 February 2012
William Hague: The world faces the of risk of conflict if Iran has nuclear weapons!
Earth shattering wise statement from William Hague!
written by Inchcock, 21 February 2012
Alcohol abuse 'to kill 280,000 people over next 20 years'
Alcohol abuse 'to kill 280,000 people in 20 years' - but deaths are preventable.
"Oh, well as long they know about it?"
written by Inchcock, 20 February 2012
The world's most amazing car showroom
The most amazing car showroom on earth!
Daily Mail - Photo's
written by Inchcock, 20 February 2012
£10 just to sit in Olympic Park and watch the action on a big screen!
Spectators to be charged £10 just to sit in Olympic Park and watch the action on a big screen!
"Ah, but will the park be protected from the rioters?"
written by Inchcock, 20 February 2012
Nottingham police launch fresh appeal on 10-year-old murder!
David Draycott was shot dead on his driveway in Sutton-in-Ashfield in 2002.
"Oh good!"
written by Inchcock, 20 February 2012
Sarah Carmen (24): The Woman Who has 200 Orgasms every day!
She suffers from Permanent Sexual Arousal Syndrome (PSAS).
"I have so much sex to try to calm myself, I get bored of it. Men I sleep with don't seem to make much effort because I climax so easily!"
written by Inchcock, 20 February 2012
Computer expert Daniel Smith - 21 & on the scrap-heap!
He fears he's left on the scrapheap at 21, after being turned down for more than 1,500 jobs.
Daniel, from Greater Manchester, left college with a IT qualification in 2009.
"Heartbreaking!"
written by Inchcock, 20 February 2012
Gerard Butler admits he has a booze problem!
"Join the club!"
But in my case it's because I can't afford any!
written by Inchcock, 19 February 2012
$1 million lottery winner won't quit her waitress job
"Shows you what money's worth nowadays!
written by Inchcock, 19 February 2012
Gloom on the job front!
15 Feb 2012: The Government was braced for more bad news on jobs today with figures expected to show 88,000 more unemployed.
"As if they were bothered!"
written by Inchcock, 17 February 2012
The Man Who Doesn't Feel Cold
Dutchman Wim Hof (48), also known as the Iceman, is the man that swam under ice, and stood in bins filled with ice.
He thrive, in temperatures that could be fatal to the average person.
written by Inchcock, 17 February 2012
Foreign Workers Scandal
Foreigners are now snatching 590 jobs every day as Britain's unemployment crisis worsens with 2.67 million now out of work.
"Bless them!"
written by Inchcock, 17 February 2012
Failed Asylum seeker set himself on fire - sues for compensation!
Algerian Abdel Zahali, 51, is demanding £50,000 in damages, saying his human rights were breached.
"The worlds gone mad!"
written by Inchcock, 17 February 2012
Pensioner beaten black & blue with her walking stick!
Mrs Mayger, 73, has concussion, severe bruising and 2 black eyes when one of the 2 thugs hit her twice around the head with the stick and punched her as they forced entry into her home.
"Sickening!"
written by Inchcock, 17 February 2012
Artist paints with beer, not paint!
Artist 38-year-old Karen Eland, paints pictures with beer instead of paint, said "I pour out some beer and start dipping my brush and painting."
I wonder if she's done any paintings of the piste?"
written by Inchcock, 17 February 2012
£438,000 to rent trees for the MP's office block!
"I could think of a good idea to put one of the trees to good use, let Cameron bond with it... anyone got any rope?"
written by Inchcock, 16 February 2012
Killer whale spotted off Norfolk Coast!
"Probably after the poor illegal immigrants in the rowing boats!"
written by Inchcock, 16 February 2012
Showing page 31 (of 54 pages)
