Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Mr Goster.
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Showing page 3 (of 7 pages)
Mixed Leaves Salad Sales Rocket
Supermarkets are reporting huge increases of their Pre Packed Salad Packets as the UK Public look to get fitter by eating more healthily.
'Rocket Sales have gone through the roof' said a helper.
written by Mr Goster, 04 March 2011
Super, Smashing, Great
The continuing unrest in Egypt has led to BBC Middle East Correspondant Jeremy Bowen standing down from his post.
The good news though is that his brother Jim is taking over with immediate effect.
written by Mr Goster, 03 March 2011
New Routes For Edinburgh Airport
Holiday Companies Thompson & First Choice have announced new flight routes from Edinburgh to the Greek Isles this Summer. Even better news, on your return flight you will land somewhere in Scotland.
written by Mr Goster, 03 March 2011
Transport Secretary Gets Green Light
Transport Secretary Miles Frumhome was stuck at the traffic lights this morning when they went from Red to Amber to Green.
'It was plain sailing after that' he said.
written by Mr Goster, 03 March 2011
Ga Ga Finds Joy of Sex At Last
In an extremely intimate interview Lady Ga Ga has told how she only discovered the Joys Of Sex Two years ago.
'I didn't realise I needed batteries in my Rampant Rabbit' she said.
written by Mr Goster, 03 March 2011
Lord Voldemort Cuts Nose Off To Spite His Face
Nasty piece of work and Harry Potter hater,the one who must not be named,Dark Lord Voldemort has ruined his looks and cut his nose off.
'He looks terrible but I'm not telling him!' said Hagrid.
written by Mr Goster, 03 March 2011
Rooney Finishes Book
Joy at Old Trafford where Wayne Rooney has just finished reading his first book.He learned to read earlier this year and is doing well.
'I'm weally pweased for the wad,' said Sir Alex.
written by Mr Goster, 03 March 2011
Ashley Cole Finds Target Audience
Great news for Ashley Cole at Chelsea's Cobham Training Ground where he has been allowed to brush up on his shooting skills and fire at anyone he likes.
'It's a bit of fun for the lad,' said a man.
written by Mr Goster, 03 March 2011
Gaddafi Burns His Hand
Gaddafi's rallying cry of 'Follow me or I will burn Libya' backfired this morning when the flame from his lighter shot up and gave him a nasty burn on his hand.
'It'll need dressing' said a Nurse.
written by Mr Goster, 02 March 2011
Golden Lion Wins Award
It was time to celebrate for The Golden Lion Pub in North Ferriby,East Yorkshire,which scooped the 'Best Pint Of Mild In Thole Of Yorkshire' Award for the first time.
'We're very proud' said a man.
written by Mr Goster, 01 March 2011
White Horse Wins Award
Terrifc news just in from The White Horse Pub in Carnage, near Skelmersdale ,which has won the prestigious 'Plate Meat Pie Of The Year' Award for West Lancashire for the 7th time.
written by Mr Goster, 01 March 2011
Black Swan Wins Award
Great news for The Black Swan Pub in Leigh, Lancashire which has just won the coveted 'Best Pub Grub In Leigh' Award for the second year running.
'Well done to everybody concerned' said a lady.
written by Mr Goster, 01 March 2011
Happy St Davids Day
Englishmen everywhere are today ringing up any Welsh people they know just to wish them all the best on this joyous and momentous day!
written by Mr Goster, 01 March 2011
The Trees Don't Need To Know
In what turned out to be quite a selfish act really, the whispering grass has decided not to tell the trees because the trees don't need to know.
written by Mr Goster, 28 February 2011
Tears Of A Clown
It's now official,there are indeed some sad things known to man but there isn't too much sadder than, the tears of a clown.
written by Mr Goster, 28 February 2011
SuBo Wins Music Award
Not very attractive millionaire singer Susan Boyle's latest CD 'How To Make Simon Cowell A Fortune' has been voted album of the year by the National Institute For The Deaf.
written by Mr Goster, 26 February 2011
Fat Geoff Hails Slimming Success
Slimmer of the Year,DJ Geoff 'FatBoy Not Slim' Michaels,43,of Wells in Somerset hailed his slimming success.He's lost 14 stones in a month having had his mouth wired shut. 'I'm starving' he mimed.
written by Mr Goster, 26 February 2011
Scholes Times Tackle!
In Sporting News, Manchester United legend Paul Scholes has finally timed a tackle. Boss Alex Ferguson said 'It's a wuddy miwacle!'
written by Mr Goster, 26 February 2011
Fast Food My Arse
It's official, there is no such thing as Fast Food.It takes ages doesn't it?
written by Mr Goster, 25 February 2011
JK Rowling Wins Enid Blyton Award
Harry Potter inventor J K Rowling has scooped the prestigious 'Enid Blyton' Writers Award which is ironic because she's pinched all Enid's ideas.(Allegedly)
written by Mr Goster, 25 February 2011
Stephen Fries
Wordy celebrity Stephen Fry was voted off a special Children In Need edition of Masterchef when his Deep Fried Sugar Puff Delight exploded in Greg's face.
'I do like me Puds though' said Greg.
written by Mr Goster, 25 February 2011
Gadaffi Ducks
That International nasty piece of work Colonel Gadaffi has caused havoc by doing a runner to Wigan in Lancashire.No-one knows his whereabouts,but he loves Kebab shops.
'We'll find him,' said a man.
written by Mr Goster, 25 February 2011
Run Vanessa Run
Roly-Poly daytime Presenter Vanessa Feltz wasn't always fat.When she was three she only weighed 6 ounces and her Parents and Relatives thought she was wasting away.They sometimes couldn't find her.
written by Mr Goster, 24 February 2011
That's Unbelievable
QI quizmaster and all-round Mr Nice Guy Stephen Fry invented the Fry's Chocolate Cream Bar that bears his name.
'Only the mint one though',said Stephen.'The Five Fruit flavoured one is an imposter.'
written by Mr Goster, 24 February 2011
Showing page 3 (of 7 pages)
