Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Inchcock.
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Showing page 29 (of 54 pages)
Man dies after accidentally drinking gasoline from salsa jar then lighting cigarette!
Gary Allen Banning, was taken to a local hospital late Monday after police responded to a 911 call from a resident reporting an apartment fire.
"Well, they say smoking is bad for your health!"
written by Inchcock, 04 March 2012
Gran is fined £75 for littering: after a thread of cotton fell off her glove!
Valerie George, 71, was stunned when a council environment officer marched up to her and gave her a £75 fixed penalty fine!
It's true - read this!
written by Inchcock, 03 March 2012
German minister slammed, played Sudoku in Greek debate
"Well the state of the Europe is a puzzle to the Eurpean Minister's as well as me then!"
written by Inchcock, 03 March 2012
49% of UK adults can't do basic maths!
"And who's fault is that I wonder?"
written by Inchcock, 03 March 2012
H & S: Ban hot drinks at young mums' weekly coffee mornings!
Council chiefs say the Children's Centre in Stratford-upon-Avon, should not provide tea or coffee at the 90-minute meetings because of the danger to toddlers.
"Quiet right too - let them drink gin!"
written by Inchcock, 03 March 2012
Ed Miliband told: Move to le Left
It came after the Labour leader met socialist French presidential candidate Francois Hollande.
"Well I wish he'd move somewhere - the further the better!"
written by Inchcock, 02 March 2012
Nick Seddon: NHS Reforms will Benefit Patients
Nick Seddon, Reform's deputy director, is a liar!
If he'd said ' NHS Reforms will Benefit Rich Patients' then I'd believe the nepotistic swine!
written by Inchcock, 02 March 2012
Prime Minister David Cameron has lead tributes to blinded police hero David Rathband
"But continues on with his plan to reduce the size of the Police Service enough to make it impotent!
The two faced, lying, nepotistic, greedy, git of a Prime Minister!"
written by Inchcock, 02 March 2012
BBC pick 75-year-old Engelbert Humperdinck for the Eurovision 2012 contest
But BBC execs reckon Engelbert, who will perform a brand new song, will be a huge hit at the song contest in Baku, Azerbaijan, on May 26.
"Nil poi bring back memories?"
written by Inchcock, 02 March 2012
The world's oldest vacuum cleaner still sucking up dust after 108 years
Harry Cox rescued the cleaner and accessories from a skip at work.
"And Mark Cox was Handcuffed and Charged with 'Theft by finding' when he took a damaged can of coke from a Tesco skip!"
written by Inchcock, 02 March 2012
Autistic boy choked to death on a sweet while ambulance could not find his street
It took 14 minutes for the ambulance to get arrive, because it couldn't find the road on the Ambulance computer system.
"Are you reading this Cameron? - Not that it would bother you at all!"
written by Inchcock, 02 March 2012
Belfast cops nab burglar caught in door letterbox
Police said it wasn't too hard to nab one would-be Belfast burglar - he managed to get his arm stuck while trying to reach through a front door letterbox.
"He was a mail burglar of course!"
written by Inchcock, 02 March 2012
Pensioner stopped driving in wrong direction on motorway after 19 hours behind wheel!
Maureen Darvell, 83, had set off from her home in Ashford, Kent, on her way to Bristol. But the pensioner got confused on the M25 and ended up heading towards Bournemouth.
"Bless her, thank God she didn't kill anyone!"
written by Inchcock, 02 March 2012
Kenneth Clark: Bail for thugs who skip bail
One criminal breached court order 125 times, and still got bail again!
"Carry on Ken... knocking back the single malt and chomping on your cigars!"
written by Inchcock, 02 March 2012
50 stone Nottingham woman who weighed more than entire family put together, drops over 30 stone for wedding!
She blew up from a petite 9 stone as a 16-year-old to over 50 stone by her 40th birthday.
She said: "Paul proposing to me focused my mind and gave me that incentive to lose weight."
"Good for her!"
written by Inchcock, 02 March 2012
Googgle took to court by Frenchman caught urinating!
The Google Street View showed him urinating in his front yard which he believes has made him the laughing stock of his village in rural northwest France.
"Taking the Piss!"
written by Inchcock, 02 March 2012
Hospital horror: Patient is set on fire during surgery at Scarborough Hospital
A patient has been accidentally set on fire while undergoing surgery at Scarborough Hospital.
The patient suffered burns after a skin cleaning solution used, ignited!
"Knocks yer confidence dunnit?"
written by Inchcock, 01 March 2012
Heron falls victim to captive lion's hunting instinct at Amsterdam zoo!
A lioness at the Royal Artis Zoo shows that she has not lost the killer instinct when a heron landed in the lion enclosure, and she ate it!
"Well that will save a few thousand fish from being eaten!"
written by Inchcock, 01 March 2012
Male chromosome is 'Not' doomed, say scientists
Fears that the male Y chromosome could be wiped out within five million years have been undermined by new research showing the drop in genes has stabilised.
"Oh Good!"
written by Inchcock, 01 March 2012
Lord Lucan 'may be alive after fleeing to Africa', says brother after 38 years of silence!
28 Feb 12: Lord Lucan, the missing Tory aristocrat accused of murdering his children's nanny, fled Britain and starting a new life in Africa, claims the peer's brother.
"I wouldn't be surprised!"
written by Inchcock, 29 February 2012
EuroMillions winner comes forward to claim £46.5m jackpot!
Fourth UK Winner: Matched all seven numbers to take the jackpot prize of £46,432,285.20.
The winning numbers were 03, 07, 12, 26 & 34 and the lucky stars were 08 and 10.
"Oh, I'm so glad for them!"
written by Inchcock, 29 February 2012
2012: World's shortest man declared in Nepal
A Guinness World Records measured Chandra Bahadur Dangi, declaring the 72-year-old to be 21.5 inches high.
"Good job he doesn't live in Britain, the kids would torment him to death!"
written by Inchcock, 29 February 2012
Former London mayor Ken Livingstone is a 'tax dodger'!
He's accused of using a loophole to legally dodge paying £50,000 in tax - despite criticising those who do.
"A politician fiddling? Surely not!"
written by Inchcock, 28 February 2012
Showing page 29 (of 54 pages)
