Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Richard DagNabbit.
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Showing page 28 (of 34 pages)
Pacqiao Sues Mayweather Over Insinuaitons
Manny firmly denies he is a rump ranger.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 31 December 2009
CIA Rejects Suggestions that it Failed to Share Data on Underwear Bomber
Unfortunately the CIA only shared the information with Israeli Intelligence and forgot the U.S. Agencies.
Time for another promotion!
written by Richard DagNabbit, 30 December 2009
British DJ Fired for Pulling Plug on Queen's Boring Speech
The fired DJ replaced the Queen with a never ending track of "The Bitch is Back".
written by Richard DagNabbit, 30 December 2009
Big Names Left Off Pro-Bowl Selections
None bigger than Jessica Simpson.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 30 December 2009
Credit Card Issuers Defend 79% Interest Rate Cards
Premier Bankcard CEO Miles Beacom stated "The U.S. consumer base both deserves and wants this type of product, as competition from loan sharks and the mob have subsided."
written by Richard DagNabbit, 30 December 2009
O'Bama Wants Answers after Botched Bombing Attack
Prez O'Bama wants to know why clear evidence was not passed from one Security Chief's Golf Bag to another Security Agency Head's Caddie. The failed pass off should have incurred a two stroke penalty.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 30 December 2009
Danica Patrick's Nascar Unveiled; Racers Protest
The car will feature a full size nude pic of the petite racer. It will be on the hood so cars in front will get a "total" view when looking in the rear view mirror.
Nascar wives are protesting.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 30 December 2009
Next War Objectives Officially Set For U.S.
War objectives are now set to be Yemen and Pakistan. Another $ 10-20 Trillion dollars needed to fund wars through 2016. Congress to raise debt ceiling as foreign chumps are recruited to buy US debt.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 30 December 2009
Report: Iran Seeking to Smuggle in Raw Uranium
Using Israeli methods already proven to succeed.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 30 December 2009
Putin: Russia Plans Offensive Weapons
Well, after Napolean, who wouldn't!
written by Richard DagNabbit, 30 December 2009
Putin Applies for US Security Agency Leadership Position
Ex-KGB Officer and former President of Russia, said his job as Russian Prime Minister would not conflict with a role as head honcho at a US Agency. Its way more money than I could ever imagine!
written by Richard DagNabbit, 30 December 2009
Karl Rove Divorcing; To get Hitched with Bill O'Reilly
In a Bible Thumping Shocker,neo-conservative rabble grousers Bill O'Reilly and former Bush Bed Buddy Karl Rove are expected to "tie the knot" and begin U-Tubing that evening.
Whaoo Dilly Ding Dong.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 30 December 2009
Security for Pope to be Tightened
Pope will now descend from clouds only on Christmas and Easter Sundays.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 29 December 2009
American Airlines Announces New Security Measures
Results for passengers:
(1)Three hours or more just for boarding.
(3) Security Personnel eat some of your McDonald's hamburger before you board.
I'm outta here - the other side has won!
written by Richard DagNabbit, 29 December 2009
China Confirms Briton's Execution Despite UK Pleas
Suspect was caught smuggling drugs by the tub load. In country where the death penalty is applicable to less than a couple of ounces, he indeed must have been completely and totally insane.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 29 December 2009
Bra Boutiqe Owners Share Success Secrets
They always use nubile young girls with perky tits in their advertisements.
Wannabe success follows immediately.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 29 December 2009
Charlie Sheen's Wife says Actor Husband Threatend Her at Knifepoint
Looks like Charlie has been doing a little too much Charlie again.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 29 December 2009
Drummer 4 Avenged Sevenfold found dead at California Home
Paramedics stated that the band member had no drumbeat and pronounced him dead at the scene.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 29 December 2009
Best & Worst Careers for 2009 In Review
Worst: any that are not a part of a government payroll
Best: Spoofwriter
written by Richard DagNabbit, 29 December 2009
Why Lie Detectors Fail on Kids
Today's kids only know how to lie
written by Richard DagNabbit, 29 December 2009
Terrorist Fails in Attempt to Blow Up Airliner
This brilliant dude sewed the explosives into his underwear. As the igniter failed to operate properly only his family jewels lit up. Perfect for New year celebration, not so hot for jail activities.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 29 December 2009
Ridge: No "US" Style Rights for Attempted Plane Bombing Suspect
Harry Callahan brought in to determine what "style" of rights suspect is to have in the US.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 29 December 2009
Ivana Trump Terrorist?
The mega money diva from centuries past temporarily grounded a jet in Florida. Officials say she was "breathing flames" and had to be escorted off the plane. Ivana has pleaded the insanity defense.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 27 December 2009
Fresh Attempt at Plane Terrorism!
All passengers will now be required to have hands cut off before boarding.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 26 December 2009
Showing page 28 (of 34 pages)
