Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Inchcock.
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Showing page 25 (of 54 pages)
Sex attack inquiry at army helicopter base in Suffolk!
Military police are investigating an alleged sex attack on a soldier at an army helicopter base in Suffolk.
"Probably starter with the chopper!"
written by Inchcock, 01 April 2012
It's Official: Chocolate Helps You Lose Weight!
The effect is modest but greater than can be explained by chance, say the researchers who took account of influencing factors such as overall fat consumption and exercise!
"Chocaholic's celebrate!"
written by Inchcock, 01 April 2012
Man Saws Off His Own Foot To Avoid Work!
He sliced his foot off just above his ankle, a few hours before he was due to have a health check with the labour department on whether he was fit to work!
"I think I might know him?"
written by Inchcock, 01 April 2012
Syria crisis debated at Istanbul talks!
"An opportunity for them to talk Turkey then?"
written by Inchcock, 01 April 2012
Police free sex shop customer from handcuffs
Police were called to an adult entertainment store. The man had been trying on the cuffs and locked himself in a pair.
Shop employees couldn't get the man free and called 911.
"Oh dear!"
written by Inchcock, 01 April 2012
Five-Century-old light bulb from Ohio site still works
At least one of 5 century-old light bulbs still works after being pulled from a Cleveland building along with a time capsule.
A special socket was used to show off one bulb's longevity.
"Brilliant!"
written by Inchcock, 01 April 2012
Mancini says Manchester United will slip up in title race!
1 April 2012: Would that be slip-up in the title race the same as Fergie said Man City would when they were at the top?
written by Inchcock, 01 April 2012
George Galloway wins Bradford West by-election for Respect!
Respect candidate takes seat from Labour with 10,140 majority, claiming 'the most sensational victory in British political history'
"Abso-blooming-marvellous!"
written by Inchcock, 30 March 2012
Robber accidentally dialled 911 from his cellphone while stealing!
He was stealing about 700 pounds of scrap metals.
Police say the 46-year-old man was arrested after the robbery from a Southington merchant.
written by Inchcock, 30 March 2012
Kitten hitches hair-raising ride over Golden Gate!
A stowaway kitten is safe despite taking an 85-mile ride in a van's engine compartment that included a trip across California's Golden Gate Bridge!
"Amazing!"
written by Inchcock, 30 March 2012
Cat survives 19-story plunge from Boston high rise
Sugar, the cat had no broken bones or cuts, just some bruising on her lungs after the fall from a window!
"Purrhaps she should be renamed Lucky!
written by Inchcock, 30 March 2012
Surfer Survives Bite After Falling On To Shark
The bull shark, bit Billy O'Leary twice, slicing his flesh down to the bone and severely damaging his Achilles tendon.
Mr O'Leary, 20, got to shore, he was bandaged.
"The show-off!"
written by Inchcock, 30 March 2012
World record bridal train displayed in Romania
A hot air balloon floated over Bucharest and a model wearing what is thought to be world's longest bridal train, The train was 1.85-mile-long!
"Another show off!"
written by Inchcock, 29 March 2012
Utah woman, 101, paraglides into record books
Great-great grandmother Mary Hardison of Ogden has been officially recognised as the "Oldest Female to Paraglide Tandem" by Guinness World Records.
"Blimey!"
written by Inchcock, 29 March 2012
Sex offenders, Drug dealers and Violent Thugs apply to be teachers!
More than 4,000 criminals tried to get jobs as Teachers in just one year! - but there is no record of how many were hired.
"Trying to learn off the kids no doubt!
written by Inchcock, 28 March 2012
£2bn crime assets and fines unpaid!
Officials chasing criminal assets and other confiscated items worth £1.3 billion expect at least £750m of this never to be paid because they are either abroad or too well-hidden!
Or political party donors?
written by Inchcock, 28 March 2012
50,000 foreign students went missing because of a major UK Border Agency blunder
Staff "did not check" if those granted visas became students. The flaws were predictable and avoidable!
300,000 foreign students and their families are given visas every year.
Big issue sellers?
written by Inchcock, 28 March 2012
Pound Shop sells gents belts for only a Pound each!
Not surprising really I know.
But they are made in Italy, using Egyptian leather!
written by Inchcock, 28 March 2012
Old Couple lose cat after 19 years!
Bartholomew (89) and Wilhemena (88) Otterswaithe said how they miss their cat Cameron.
Bartholomew added: "Mind you, it's the first meat we've been able to afford in months!
written by Inchcock, 28 March 2012
Driver gets 3 speeding tickets in hour
34-year-old Jose Romero-Valenzuela of Las Vegas, was zooming west Wednesday morning and got pulled over three times - first at 105 mph, then at 98 mph and finally at 92 mph.
"He was slowing down?"
written by Inchcock, 28 March 2012
Spanish town wants to grow cannabis to pay off debt
Rasquera, A small town in northeastern Spain, believes it has found a novel way to pay of its debt: Cultivating cannabis!
"Now there's a good idea!"
written by Inchcock, 28 March 2012
Panda Dung Is Secret To Most Expensive Tea
41-year-old Chinese entrepreneur An Yanshi grows the tea in Ya'an in Sichuan province using excrement from pandas living at nearby breeding centres.
It costs £130 a cup!
"Expensive crap eh?"
written by Inchcock, 28 March 2012
Scorned male fruit flies turn to booze!
Male fruit flies who have been sexually rejected turn to booze, a new study shows.
"Just like human males then!"
written by Inchcock, 28 March 2012
Gamer Dies At Web Cafe - But No-One Notices!
Taiwanese man who died while playing video games at an internet cafe was left for hours after fellow gamers failed to notice his death!
"A bit like Cameron's NHS really!"
written by Inchcock, 27 March 2012
Showing page 25 (of 54 pages)
