Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Inchcock.
Show all snippets.
Showing page 23 (of 54 pages)
Gov.com: Red meat increases health risks
64% will not change eating habits after study reveals dangers of red meat consumption.
"That would be the 64% who can't afford it anyway?"
written by Inchcock, 08 April 2012
Assisted Suicide - UK figures
48% would personally consider the option
23% would not consider assisted suicide an option
29% would prefer not to say
Assisted suicide is a criminal offence in England and Wales
"Might end my days in Scotland then!"
written by Inchcock, 08 April 2012
Man struck by Birmingham Police vehicle!
A spokesman for the force urged any witnesses to the accident to contact them.
"I nearly got hit by of the three Nottingham police vehicles yesterday!"
written by Inchcock, 07 April 2012
A Dutch company is launching a vehicle which can be driven on land, or flown in the air!
The Personal Air and Land Vehicle that can be configured as a gyrocopter, requiring a 540 ft runway to take-off, or as a three wheeled car!
"Idea for Britain's police?"
written by Inchcock, 07 April 2012
UKgov.com: New tobacco strategy?
60% of public say ban smoking in cars with passengers, 46% oppose banning smoking in public parks!
More bans may cripple the Bulgarian and Lithuanian illegal fag importers! Civil rights and all that!
written by Inchcock, 07 April 2012
IT worker turns himself in for urinating on colleague's chairs!
The Des Moines Register reports that 59-year-old Raymond Foley turned himself in to face a charge of second-degree criminal mischief!
Ioaan man charged
"Maybe they pissed him off?"
written by Inchcock, 07 April 2012
Men arrested after deputy finds calf in backseat
3 men found with a 220lb calf in the backseat of their car, are accused of cattle rustling. They were jailed for suspicion of larceny of livestock, and a lack of a bill of sale.
"It's no bull!"
written by Inchcock, 07 April 2012
Walkers 'Texting lane' for pedestrian Texter's installed!
The April Fools' Day prank is one way city officials, in particular Mayor Michael Nutter, are trying to draw attention to the danger of inattentive pedestrians in Phili.
":)"
written by Inchcock, 07 April 2012
George Osborne 'happy' to reveal politicians' tax data
Chancellor George Osborne has said he would be "very happy" for the government to consider publishing the personal tax returns of ministers.
"Lying Git!"
written by Inchcock, 07 April 2012
Oldest clown keeps the smiles coming
Floyd "Creeky" Creekmore is one of the quieter acts in the circus, his larger-than-life clown shoes shuffling methodically, igniting giggles and slack-jawed wonder from children!
He's 95 this week!
written by Inchcock, 06 April 2012
Chinese Teenager Sells Kidney To Buy iPad
Xinhua news agency said the 17-year-old boy's kidney was removed last year.
The surgeon who paid about £22,000 who performed the operation was arrested.
"Silly boy!"
written by Inchcock, 06 April 2012
Pilot turns back after snake pops out of dashboard
An Australian pilot said he was forced to make a landing reminiscent of a Hollywood thriller!
It slithered across his leg during a solo cargo flight.
"Similar thing happened in 1968 to a BOAC pilot!"
written by Inchcock, 06 April 2012
Stafford Hospital needle error warning to staff
Bosses warned disciplinary action will be taken against staff who allow patients to leave with needles in their arms after several incidents last year.
"Should think so too - expensive needles are!"
written by Inchcock, 06 April 2012
Man jailed over managing brothels!
He was running brothels in Cambridgeshire, Berkshire and Surrey.
David Hemming, 53, of Hemel Hempstead, was jailed for 40 months at a hearing at Reading Crown Court.
"Well someone's got to do it?"
written by Inchcock, 06 April 2012
HMS Dauntless sets sail for the Falklands!
President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner said: "It is an injustice that there are still colonial enclaves. The Malvina's should be ours!"
"Double Dutch there methinks?"
written by Inchcock, 06 April 2012
Wiltshire death crash bus driver's sentence cut
Adrian Shearing, ran over a six-year-old boy, he accidentally pressed the accelerator instead of the brake pedal, killing Finlay Connor.
"I know what should be cut!"
written by Inchcock, 06 April 2012
Mario Balotelli bedded Wayne Rooney's hooker for free!
The bad boy Manchester City striker got the green light from £1,000-a-night escort girl Jennifer Thompson after pulling up alongside her in his £200,000 white Bentley!
"Bet that pissed Wayne off!"
written by Inchcock, 05 April 2012
German cars ahead for UK drivers
YouGov's BrandIndex data indicates that the cars consumers would prefer to drive away are German!
"We've driven away German Dorniers, Henchels, Junkers, and Porsche % Krupp made tanks before!"
written by Inchcock, 05 April 2012
Nottinghamshire sees third lottery win of 2012!
Jim Emerton, 56, and his wife Maureen, 55, said they were looking forward to 'plenty of breakfasts in bed'
"I can see they intend to do a lot of good for others with the money!" Not that I'm jealous!
written by Inchcock, 05 April 2012
YouGov: Workers 'more stressed' nowadays!
Well, those few with a job anyway!
written by Inchcock, 05 April 2012
David Cameron's rating at new all time low!
But Labour leader Ed Miliband has failed to take advantage. Only 19 per cent said he would make the best PM. Only five per cent thought Nick Clegg would be the best PM, down one point.
"Sad innit?"
written by Inchcock, 05 April 2012
Spoilt kids 'causing havoc in schools'
Mary Bousted said many are "waited on hand and foot" by indulgent parents. According to the Association of Teachers.
"Too many don't do the washing-up, or hoovering!
"Hang um, liquidate the vermin!"
written by Inchcock, 05 April 2012
Queen to hand out Maundy money at York Minster
"We are given to understand that this service is very important to The Queen," The Very Reverend, Keith Jones said.
"Ha!"
written by Inchcock, 05 April 2012
New dress claims to turn see-through when wearer is aroused
A new dress will allow people to see when the wearer is aroused - by becoming transparent when the heart rate increases.
"Oh!"
Metro: See-through dress
written by Inchcock, 05 April 2012
Showing page 23 (of 54 pages)
