Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Inchcock.
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Showing page 22 (of 54 pages)
Black market gear costs Britain £30bn in lost taxes
Black marketeers flogging cigs, booze and diesel were yesterday revealed to have cost the UK almost £30billion in lost taxes.
"Are you surprised? I'm not"
written by Inchcock, 13 April 2012
Good News: 'We'll live longer!'
Experts warned that pensioners could "run out" of cash as a result of a retirement timebomb sparked by people living longer.
"You can't win can you!"
written by Inchcock, 12 April 2012
11 April 2012: Wigan 1 - Manchester United 0
Isn't it nice when the little guys win!
written by Inchcock, 12 April 2012
Grandmother stole more than £¼m from her bosses!
Accountant Beryl Rawlings, 70, looted the cash for luxury holidays, including a £5,000 trip to Australia and N Z!
The scam went undetected for 6 years, by then she had banked £269,387.
"Bless her!"
written by Inchcock, 12 April 2012
EU to ban hairdressers from wearing rings and heels
They'll to don "suitable clothes", & face a limit on how many haircuts they can do each day. Bosses would be plan so staff can have regular natters with each other!
"Will this EU stupidity ever stop?
written by Inchcock, 12 April 2012
Trust in George Osborne and David Cameron to run the economy is at a record low!
A poll for ITV News revealed that 60 per cent do not trust the Chancellor after the Budget - up from 52 per cent a month ago.
"Fancy that now!"
written by Inchcock, 12 April 2012
Homelessness charities demand missing £5m from Boris Johnson
Charities fear London mayor has diverted £5.3m of government funds pledged to rough sleepers to other unspecified purposes.
"Fat chance!"
written by Inchcock, 11 April 2012
UK demands £45m war debt from Argentina
UK Government is chasing a £45m debt owed by Argentina on a 1979 loan that the country's ruling military junta spent on weapons used to invade the Falkland Islands.
"Oh yes, I'm sure we'll get that!"
written by Inchcock, 11 April 2012
10-05-12: Voting Intentions Poll
Con's 33%
Labour 42%
Lib-Dems 8%
Others 18%
Labour in the lead having done nothing constructive.
Shows how sad they all are!
written by Inchcock, 11 April 2012
Jailed Expense Cheats go back to the House of Lords!
The Tory peers, Lord Hanningfield and Lord Taylor of Warwick, will be able to resume their seats and claim their £300-a-day allowances!
"Makes you sick doesn't it!"
written by Inchcock, 11 April 2012
Do the EuroMillions Lotto this Easter!
In the EuroMillions, each ticket has a one in 116 million chance of the jackpot!
"The odds would be longer of finding an honest MP in the UK!"
written by Inchcock, 10 April 2012
HS2: 50,000 bodies 'to be exhumed' for high speed rail link
50,000 bodies will need to be exhumed to make way for the new HS2 rail line from London to Birmingham,
"Just the ticket for the unemployed who have got to do work for free?"
written by Inchcock, 10 April 2012
Drivers stop hit and run escape
Pennsylvania: A motorist ran into the back of cyclist, the driver sped off. A bus driver blocked him, & a car pulled up behind, stopping the driver from leaving the scene.
"Great stuff, well done!"
written by Inchcock, 10 April 2012
Boy Needs 30 Stitches After Pufferfish Attack
Tom Horn, (5), was bitten wading with his family on Thursday Island, Queensland.
Pufferfish grow to a length of only 14 inches but have powerful teeth-filled jaws.
"Jaws in miniature!"
written by Inchcock, 10 April 2012
Alaska's largest city breaks seasonal snow record
Anchorage has been walloped by snow.
City snow removal men hauled more than 2.5 million cubic yards of snow to the city's six snow disposal sites!
"Cor blimus!"
written by Inchcock, 10 April 2012
Baby born on a plane
Using shoe laces sterilised in vodka and hot towels from business class, a baby boy was delivered on a Delta flight bound for Africa!
"A baby alcoholic with a towel fetish in the making there!"
written by Inchcock, 10 April 2012
Asylum seeker claimed £750m over prison sex ban!
A failed asylum seeker tried to claim up to £750 million in compensation from the Government because he is not allowed to have sex with his girlfriend in prison!
"Cheeky git!"
written by Inchcock, 10 April 2012
Burglars caught by their own security cameras!
4 burglars have been jailed after a CCTV system they installed at one of their own homes filmed them carrying loot back from a robbery!
"I like it, I like it!"
written by Inchcock, 10 April 2012
Cat returned to owner after 16 years!
A German woman was preparing on Wednesday for an emotional reunion with her long-lost cat, after 16 years apparently living in the woods, an animal home said.
"Mmmm!"
written by Inchcock, 10 April 2012
Choppers Rescue 75 Trapped In Cable Car
It took around three hours to rescue all the passengers after the incident near the ski resort of St Moritz in Switzerland.
"Don't bother me, I can't afford to stay at home let alone go on holiday!"
written by Inchcock, 09 April 2012
Fancy a stay at Broadmoor?
Parts of Broadmoor high-security psychiatric hospital could be turned into hotel and housing under plans announced by the NHS.
"Getting it ready for privatisation - What next?"
written by Inchcock, 09 April 2012
Madeleine McCann sighting
Madeleine McCann: Parents don't believe young blonde girl spotted in India is their missing daughter
Well they should know I'm sure!
written by Inchcock, 09 April 2012
David Cameron to have exploratory operation!
They are to try out a new procedure from Lithuania to try and find a caring bone!
written by Inchcock, 09 April 2012
Tea or Coffee for Brit's?
52% favour tea as the best hot drink
35% say they prefer coffee
11% like neither tea or coffee as their favourite hot drink
3% can't choose or "don't know"
"Has the UN been notified of this yet?"
written by Inchcock, 08 April 2012
Showing page 22 (of 54 pages)
