Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Richard DagNabbit.
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Showing page 20 (of 34 pages)
Colin Powell: Haiti Needs a Long Term Big Dollar Committment
and he's stepping up to make exactly that happen with a "dollar a week" paycheck deduction to UNICEF HAITI RELIEF FUND.
Go Gettem' Colin!
written by Richard DagNabbit, 15 January 2010
Michele O'Bomba's New Do' a Hit with Mythologists
Saying it makes her look like an African version of the Medusa, she brings something different to bed each night.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 15 January 2010
Elected Officials Finalize Health Bill "Insurance Policy Tax"
The tax will apply to the value of your insurance policy if not used. If used, the tax escalates to the amount paid by the insurance company for services provided.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 15 January 2010
Agasi was "Critical of Me in His Book" Says Pete Sampras
Now I want to talk to him to find out if he was high on crack when he wrote it, or just bitching 'cause I whooped his ass so much.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 15 January 2010
Geithner Says He Was "Not Involved" in With AIG Disclosures
...only the billion dollar payments, of which he received a big piece of on every one.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 15 January 2010
Lindsay Lohan as Tiger Tigress Number 99?
the London Daily Mirror is reporting that there just may be a Tigerliscious 47 second clip of the tabloid mighty might coming to a web sex site near you. Tiger was unavailable for comment.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 15 January 2010
U.S. Takes Charge in Haiti with Battleships, Gunships and Troops
U.S.S. Pat Robertson will provide spiritual guidance to the ordnance so only the Devil is fired upon, not Haitian people.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 15 January 2010
Limbaugh: O'Bomba Staged the Earthquake in Haiti
So he could "come to the rescue" and look like a good guy, when actually he is a "very black guy".
written by Richard DagNabbit, 15 January 2010
Officials Say Deal Recahed on Health Bill Tax
All those with good health will be taxed until they have none.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 14 January 2010
TSA, With 2,000 Executives Pulling $ 175K Or More.......
Can't explain why they can't find guns on passengers at airports or why an 8 year old cub scout is on the "Terror Watch List".
The New World Order at Work.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 14 January 2010
O'Bomba Tells Banks: We Want Our Money Back
Banks Tell O'Bama: It was never "Your Money" and is isn't now as well. You only borrow it at interest!
written by Richard DagNabbit, 14 January 2010
Only in America.....Does Complete Stupidity Rule
College students were asked why our economy is based on money lending or "usury"
Most had queer looks before concluding that the "Fed borrows money from the King of England and they loan it to us"
written by Richard DagNabbit, 14 January 2010
U.S. Provides Massive Military Response to Haiti Earthqake
All survivors will be transported to GITMO for their own safety.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 13 January 2010
Burger King, Not Just Banks, Pass Out Bonuses Too
One high volume restaurant gave a total of five bonuses to particularly hard working burger flippers. The bonuses ranged from $20 to $5, all in Burger King Coupons.
Free ketchup & mustard, too.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 13 January 2010
Polish Woman Assessed $ 820,000 for Taxes on Prostitution Earnings
Claiming over 100,000 "services", the Happy Hooker said she was born with her legs apart, making here a "natural" for the industry.
Volume discount anyone?
written by Richard DagNabbit, 13 January 2010
White House Study: O'Bomba Stimulus "Saved" 2 Million Jobs
The self serving study was prepared by the same aides Bush used to confirm Saddam had "Weapons of Mass Destruction".
What could be more believable than that?
written by Richard DagNabbit, 13 January 2010
Government Report Shows U.S. Obesity Rate Not Rising
True. With 98% of U.S. citizens already obese, the remaining 2% won't be until FatDonald's opens their other 1,040 planned restaurants in 2010.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 13 January 2010
Poll: Blacks in U.S. Optimistic About Future
And with good reason: As TSA implements profiling, thousands will be needed with cavity search experience.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 13 January 2010
The Serious and the Silly in Washington D.C.
The Serious: Michele O'Bomba's $ 478,000 shopping trip for a purse bag including full Secret Service Escort via Helicopter.
The Silly: Barrack O'Bomba's $672 polishing kit for his Nobel Peace Prize
written by Richard DagNabbit, 13 January 2010
Bank CEO's: W'ere Sorry for Our Risky Behaviors and Bad Decisions
Now, that said, just give us all your damn money, and hurry up about it.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 13 January 2010
Study: Cocaine Gives Boys a Higher High
The Government report winds up recommending that girls snort twice as much to get the same high as their boyfriend.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 13 January 2010
O'Bomba Calls in SpinMaster Speech Writer Benjamen Rhodes
In a new "spin speech", Rhodes to characterize a protracted Viet Nam style war costing taxpayers $ 1 Trillion dollars a year as a Peace Dividend for electing O'Bomba in the first place.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 13 January 2010
Israel Demands a Cessation to Rumors of U.S. Government Infiltration
The Jewish State said today that "Rumors that Jews occupy over 70% of positions that make foreign policy and banking decisions in the US Government" are untrue; the percentage is slightly over 80%.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 13 January 2010
Cheney Comes Out of Retirment; Takes TSA Chief Post
Immediately orders all Americans who are not Registered Republicans placed on the "No-Fly List."
written by Richard DagNabbit, 13 January 2010
Showing page 20 (of 34 pages)
