Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Jalapenoman.
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Network Executives Merge Genres and Create the "Reality TV Infomercial"
Lindsay Lohan will sell designer prison clothing on her new show.
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NFL Bans Vuvuzelas Before Preseason Even Starts
Just because they are both named "football" doesn't mean that the NFL fans are hooligans or as stupid as the vuvuzela players.
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NFL Bans Vuvuzelas Before Preseason Even Starts
Commissioner says "we'd rather have our fans use the more traditional noise makers, like thunder sticks and canned air horns."
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NFL Bans Vuvuzelas Before Preseason Even Starts
Brett Favre threatens "if anyone sneaks one of those stupid things into a game, I might have to retire again... or unretire... which am I now?"
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NFL Bans Vuvuzelas Before Preseason Even Starts
Jerry Jones and Al Davis to break ranks and have the horns at Cowboy and Raider games.
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NFL Bans Vuvuzelas Before Preseason Even Starts
Commissioner says "Our players, like Terrell Owns and Chad Ocho Cinco, already toot their own horn enough."
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Labor Secretary Says That Undocumented Workers Must Be Paid A Living Wage
Should money be withheld for taxes?
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Labor Secretary Says That Undocumented Workers Must Be Paid A Living Wage
Do they get benefits too?
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Labor Secretary Says That Undocumented Workers Must Be Paid A Living Wage
Does this mean that all of the illegal Mexican maids along the border will get more than $15 a day?
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Labor Secretary Says That Undocumented Workers Must Be Paid A Living Wage
Which will be higher: the fine from the government for hiring illegal aliens or the fine for not paying them "a living wage"?
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Labor Secretary Says That Undocumented Workers Must Be Paid A Living Wage
Does living wage mean higher than minimum wage?
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Labor Secretary Says That Undocumented Workers Must Be Paid A Living Wage
Will they throw rocks at you if you don't?
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Labor Secretary Says That Undocumented Workers Must Be Paid A Living Wage
....but what if they apply for a job with the Border Patrol?
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Labor Secretary Says That Undocumented Workers Must Be Paid A Living Wage
....but what if their job is in Arizona?
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Labor Secretary Says That Undocumented Workers Must Be Paid A Living Wage
... never mind that it is illegal to hire them in the first place.
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Labor Secretary Says That Undocumented Workers Must Be Paid Living Wage
....never mind that they can't fill out an I-9 form.
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On first anniversary of his death, Michael Jackson's mother makes a confession
"I shouldn't have let Jermaine and Tito kick him in the balls to make him sing higher notes. Turns out he liked it!"
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On first anniversary of his death, Michael Jackson's mother makes a confession
"With Michael, it was never boys will be boys. It was always boys will do boys."
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On first anniversary of his death, Michael Jackson's mother makes a confession
"When the kids would play, one wanted to grow up to be a fireman and another wanted to be an astronaut. Michael always wanted to grow up to be a rich, white woman."
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On first anniversary of his death, Michael Jackson's mother makes a confession
"I should have known that something was wrong when the kids played Cowboys and Indians and they always made Michael be Doc Holliday's girlfriend, Big Nose Kate."
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On first anniversary of his death, Michael Jackson's mother makes a confession
"I should have known Michael had a drug problem when I learned that, instead of a medicine cabinet, he had a medicine walk-in closet."
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On first anniversary of his death, Michael Jackson's mother makes a confession
"I should have known that something was up when Michael used to change the lyrics and sing I like little butts and I cannot lie..."
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On first anniversary of his death, Michael Jackson's mother makes a confession
"Michael wouldn't have turned out the way he did if I'd insisted that Joe spank him like normal kids, instead of pounding away at his bottom."
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On first anniversary of his death, Michael Jackson's mother makes a confession
"When he was growing up, I made the mistake of discouraging him in his goal.... to be a Catholic Priest."
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Showing page 2 (of 37 pages)