Showing breaking news satire snippets written by pinkwalrus.
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Showing page 2 (of 2 pages)
Putin Puppets: This Year's "It" Xmas Gift
Inspired by the 3rd debate exchange "No Puppet.""No Puppet.""You're the puppet.""No, you're the puppet."
sets of Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump "Putin Puppets" are fast selling out before release.
written by pinkwalrus, 28 October 2016
Trump Promised 100 Million Dollars to Own Campaign
Trump boasted many times that he was contributing this much to his campaign, but seems to have trouble counting that high.
He, to date, has bailed out at 66.
written by pinkwalrus, 28 October 2016
7 Malheur Occupants Found Not Guilty
... and given a fruit basket before the Bundys and several others are sent on to their next trial for a 2014 event in Nevada
written by pinkwalrus, 28 October 2016
One happy American found and interviewed
A plankton researcher, he has been looking through a microscope at small plants at sea for the past 9 months.
And he would be happy to tell you all about them.
written by pinkwalrus, 22 October 2016
Apple's New App: Don-B-Gone
To make up for the new iPhone 7's lack of headphone jack,
Apple is offering a free app that blocks Donald Trump's image, voice, and quotes from any web content viewed on the phone.
written by pinkwalrus, 22 October 2016
Space Station reports it can still see reality from there
but the cloud of misdirection, lies and projection billowing over the U.S. is getting larger and denser all the time
written by pinkwalrus, 22 October 2016
Pre-election Christmas sales
Shop now! Who knows what will happen November 9th.
written by pinkwalrus, 22 October 2016
Doctors warn of adrenaline withdrawal post-election
Experts say, people have been so hyped up on
anger, fear, shock, and confusion that
normal daily life may look pale and uninteresting.
Beware impulses to seek "replacement highs"...
written by pinkwalrus, 22 October 2016
Dangerous Drinking Game Grips Nation
Countless hospitalized drinking to Trump speeches:
1 drink beer: "tremendous" "huge" "so fast, believe me"
1 drink hard alcohol: "there is something going on"
written by pinkwalrus, 18 September 2016
EPA Called in To US Election
Violations of the Clean Air Act and identification of a mobile brownfield site containing a "hazardous substance, pollutant, or contaminant" has kicked the agency into emergency response mode.
written by pinkwalrus, 18 September 2016
Trumpkins are on Their Way
As Halloween approaches the US braces itself for minions of carved pumpkins in the likeness of Donald Trump.
written by pinkwalrus, 18 September 2016
"Step Out of the Shower and Put Down the Toaster"
Suicide Hotlines have seen a dramatic surge in calls since polls have shown Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton to be in a tight race.
written by pinkwalrus, 18 September 2016
Couple Unwisely Go on Boat Outing with Fighting Couple
"Don't ever get on a boat with a captain who is fighting with his wife," advises Doug Warren.
Wise words, hard learned.
written by pinkwalrus, 13 September 2016
Many voters relieved election over in less than 60 days...
until they realize Trump will not handle winning OR losing well
written by pinkwalrus, 12 September 2016
Basket of Deplorables
Now available as a bouquet from FTD Florists.
It includes the most allergy inducing flowers.
written by pinkwalrus, 12 September 2016
Reporter Stumps Trump
Trump is asked to accuse an opponent/enemy of something other than what Trump himself has been accused of.
written by pinkwalrus, 12 September 2016
Melania Trump Offers...
To be first illegal immigrant deported when her husband takes office.
written by pinkwalrus, 04 August 2016
Three Circles of Hell
Ring 1: Being Trump's Enemy
Ring 2: Being Trump's Ally
Ring 3: Being Trump's Campaign Staff
written by pinkwalrus, 04 August 2016
Pick the Reason Trump Will Drop Out
1. My golf game is suffering
2. My businesses need my attention
3. The press is out to get me
4. People don't believe in Santa anymore
5. The election is rigged
written by pinkwalrus, 04 August 2016
Trump Campaign Strategy Revealed
I'm rubber, you're glue.
Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.
written by pinkwalrus, 04 August 2016
Showing page 2 (of 2 pages)
