Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Alexandria177.
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2nd Nigerian on Delta was "just sick"
A Nigerian who was in the bathroom on the plane for an hour was actually just sick. Many are protesting, as it is widely believed that the police "profile" all Nigerians with tummy aches.
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Nigerian football player to be lashed in Sudan
This is punishment for him drinking alcohol. The American NFL has announced that they will not be playing any games in Sudan. Ever.
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Nigeria has invested billions of dollars..
...in sources of energy to provide electricity to all. It's not worked. It's believed that the funds are tied up in a bank, but if you'll withdraw the funds for them, they'll let you have 10%.
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Racism and robots
The Japanese, who's falling birth rates may require them to accept over half a million immigrants a year, are leading the world in developing robots. Guess why.
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Japanese jobless rate climbs to 5.2%
This has prompted wide spread concern there. It's also prompted wide spread inquiries from Americans seeking to move there.
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Local coroner ashamed
A coroner for Grover's Point, population 4,399 is ashamed that he has no great stories to tell about how his forensic genius solved a murder case. All that training was for nothing.
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"Yokomine Method" popular in Japan
It's a form of pre-school training designed to let all kids be super kids. For the nation that wasn't quite Type A personality enough, this is just what they've been waiting for.
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Girl shooting heroin just realized something
That in spite of what she told herself while doing pot, taking ecstasy, and snorting coke - that it was just "social" use...that shooting heroin might make her an "addict".
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Highly resistant TB in U.S.
But it's mostly a concern of the homeless and lower classes. So no big deal. Funding for erectile dysfunction in old and wealthy businessmen will not be impacted.
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Your angry teen is playing a joke on you
The computer in your bedroom has been changed, so that the webcam never goes off. He's been selling your pathetic 2 minute once a week sessions with your wife on the net.
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Man at School Board invokes Constitution
Complaining about a minor issue at a board meeting that was obviously of concern only to him, he drug in the poor Constitution, believing it proved that he was right. He was right, but no one cared.
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Local comedian thinks he's "edgy"
Vern Tessio, who can be seen every week at a local bar, thinks his act is "edgy". "I sure poked at the council for that water purification project.", he said. He is surprised he wasn't silenced.
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Scamming old people
The Attorney General has noticed - but doesn't care - that the biggest scammer of the elderly are the companies that offer Life Insurance for pennies a day, knowing they won't actually be paying out.
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Family sleeps better tonight
They watched a "COPS" show about prostitution arrests. Seeing 15 armed men involved in stopping old men looking for blowjobs lets them know that there must be no other crimes of note in their town.
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Policewoman just realized
That always being the undercover street whore in stings says much about her looks. After all, she was picked for being a credible looking crack whore.
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A middle aged loser is fooled again
A 48 year old balding man with a boring office job is under the impression that the 24 year old blonde flirting with him actually likes him. When he wakes up rolled tomorrow, he'll know better.
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Single mom fooled again
A 35 year old woman with three kids by two dads is at a bar with a guy she just met. She is under the impression that this could be "real", not realizing that he just wants the easy lay.
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African American woman doesn't realize
Shaniqua doesn't know it, but everyone at her office knows that she is not a natural blonde. They also know that her blue eyes are contacts.
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First time offender surprised
At his trial, it didn't go anything like Law and Order. Heck, if it hadn't of been him on trial, he'd have been bored. And at no point was the Constitution invoked to justify his petty theft.
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Whatever happened to the cigar?
You know, the one that Bill Clinton used with Monica? After all, every other item was saved. Does Bill still have it?
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December 27, 1901
Marlene Dietrich was born. She was as famous as any star ever would be, and most now don't even know her name. Sic transit gloria mundi.
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On this day in 1979...
...the Soviet Union took over Afghanistan. Suggestions that this would be the Soviet Vietnam were brushed off. How'd that work out for them?
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Consumer confused
Every commercial he sees tells him that they will pay him the most for his gold. So who is telling the truth?
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History called
History called Bill O'Reilly last week. Bill was told that by 2050, no one would really know or care who he was, at least no more than care now who John Faulk of CBS in the sixties was.
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