Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Inchcock.
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Showing page 19 (of 54 pages)
Having an easy-to-say name 'will help you get promoted'
Oh yes? Not in the UN: Trygve Halvdan Lie, Dag Hammarskjöld, Sithu U Thant, Javier Pérez de Cuéllar, Boutros Boutros-Ghali, Kofi Atta Annan, & Ban Ki Moon?
written by Inchcock, 23 April 2012
Oregon Airport stripper says he was 'nude but not lewd'
An Oregon man stripped naked at Portland International Airport as a protest against security screeners, then claimed his act of defiance as protected political speech.
"His Metal was detected!"
written by Inchcock, 23 April 2012
New Mexico fat cat weighs in at nearly 40 pounds
It's not clear how the feline was able to gain so much weight in just two years. Adult cats typically weigh between seven and 12 pounds.
"Purrhaps he's been eating the local dogs?"
written by Inchcock, 23 April 2012
Health & Safety bulldoze giant sandcastle!
Bulldozed just hours after it was finished - by health and safety chiefs.
The 100-ton structure had cost taxpayers £5,000 and taken a sand sculptor four days to construct.
Express photo
"Amazing!"
written by Inchcock, 21 April 2012
Police baffled after mystery toilet appears in middle of the road!
Motorists forced to swerve around the grey and orange public inconvenience after it appeared overnight in the middle of a road Cluj-Napoca.
"And they say you can never find one when you need one!"
written by Inchcock, 21 April 2012
Husband sees wife in Porn film online!
An Egyptian man who ventured online to watch his first pornographic film, was shocked to see that the leading lady was his own wife.
"Pharaoh enough I suppose!"
written by Inchcock, 21 April 2012
Number of foreigners in work in Britain rose by 166,000
The number of foreigners in work in Britain rose by 166,000 last year while - bizarrely - the number of British-born workers in jobs fell by exactly 166,000.
"Well we let the Government allow it!"
written by Inchcock, 21 April 2012
UK: Street crime figures shock!
Muggings and robberies rise 10% as police cuts bite!
"Cameron, Osborne, and Kenneth Clarke should be ashamed! But they wont be!"
written by Inchcock, 21 April 2012
Tevez to fire Manchester City to the Premier League title.
Well that's what Manchester City keeper Joe Hart says in the Star!
"What tablets is he on?"
written by Inchcock, 21 April 2012
Female motorist crashes into pole in spacious desert!
She inexplicably managed to plough into a 20ft telegraph pole, despite being surrounded by acres of brown and green desert for as far as the eye can see.
Metro Must see picture
written by Inchcock, 21 April 2012
Newcastle Utd footballer Papiss Cissé goes for a £6 haircut
Cissé who is paid £2million a year, he was recognised when he went for a cheapo trim, and 200 fans gathered outside.
"Good job he didn't go to the public loo innit?"
written by Inchcock, 21 April 2012
Semtex smuggled into Grand National site
Semtex smuggled into Grand National site... and Olympics security firm fails to spot it!
"Don't bode well do it?"
written by Inchcock, 20 April 2012
17 April 2012: UK Voting Intention Poll
Labour 43%
Conservatives 34%
Lib-Dems 8%
Others 15%
How do the Conservatives do so well?
written by Inchcock, 19 April 2012
Aquascutum enters administration
Luxury clothing retailer, goes into administration, 250 jobs are at risk.
Founded in 1851, their clothes have been worn by Cary Grant, Humphrey Bogart & the Queen Mother.
"Heartbreak redundancies!"
written by Inchcock, 19 April 2012
Plundering care home finance boss Jenny Glanister jailed!
Jenny Glanister, who stole more than £330,000 a Northamptonshire care home to fund a luxury lifestyle has been jailed.
£233,000 was spent on jewellery from a TV shopping channel.
"Bitch!"
written by Inchcock, 19 April 2012
Southeastern faces court after train overshot station by 2.5 miles!
A rail company is to be prosecuted after a passenger train allegedly overshot a station in East Sussex by almost two-and-a-half miles.
"Nothing but moan moan some people!"
written by Inchcock, 19 April 2012
Girl, 4, joins Mensa with 159 IQ
A four-year-old girl from Hampshire is accepted into Mensa with an IQ just one point below Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking!
"I applied but couldn't understand the application form!"
written by Inchcock, 19 April 2012
Madeleine McCann lookalike spotted in southern Spain!
Cops are searching for Madeleine McCann in a Costa del Sol holiday town after a "credible" tip-off. They swooped on Nerja after colleagues asked them to launch a probe,
"Something still stinks about this!"
written by Inchcock, 19 April 2012
Young mum dies after hospital kit is left in body after operation
She died after a surgeon left a pair of hospital clips inside her after keyhole surgery.
Nicole Haynes, 35, died after undergoing a laparoscopy.
"Scary, and so so sad! Anyone told Cameron?"
written by Inchcock, 19 April 2012
Gas fitter jailed for three years for botching boiler installation that killed millionaire's daughter
He was jailed for the manslaughter of a millionaire's daughter who died from carbon monoxide poisoning.
"Fitter did same to unemployed family's son in council house - he got £250 fine!"
written by Inchcock, 19 April 2012
Prisoners protest on rooftop at Young Offenders' Institution
They have luxury TVs and PlayStations in their cells, do not have to pay for rent, washing, heating etc.
"Spoilt mardy git's!"
written by Inchcock, 19 April 2012
Mario Balotelli: Asks to stay at Man City
"Well, it's handy for his high class prostitutes, he gets paid £100,000 a week, and he likes the local barber!"
written by Inchcock, 19 April 2012
470 Dairy Crest jobs to go in Liverpool and Cambridgeshire
The milk supplier has announced proposals to close its factories in Aintree, which employs 220 people, and Fenstanton where 250 people work.
"And is Cameron bothered? Is he 'eck as like!"
written by Inchcock, 19 April 2012
Warning benefit changes may see fewer free school meals
Plans to simplify the welfare system may mean thousands of England's poorest children lose their entitlement to free school meals, a charity has warned.
"The Tories doing this?... surely not?"
written by Inchcock, 19 April 2012
Showing page 19 (of 54 pages)
