Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Inchcock.
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Showing page 17 (of 54 pages)
Record to Break: Longest Time on the Lavatory
Requirements: Any fully functioning lavatory
Record holder: Carl Grantham, Bakersfield, USA
Details: Functioning time: 2 hours 17 mins
written by Inchcock, 06 May 2012
Record: Most Dog Poop Trodden In in 1 Day
Record holder: Jon Hewitt, Chippenham, England
Details: "Four times in one day - accidentally"
written by Inchcock, 06 May 2012
Record: Fastest 8 Pints and a Curry
(WARNING - this is a national pastime in parts of the U.K. - non U.K. nationals may need to seek medical advice before attempt)
Record holder: Jim Dale, Nottingham.
Details: 1 hr and 18 mins
written by Inchcock, 06 May 2012
Record: World's Longest Fingernails
Salt Lake City woman Lee Redmond holds the world's record.
They average 33 inches long!
"How does she scratch her itches?"
written by Inchcock, 06 May 2012
Record: The world's fastest mouth
Housewife Fran Capo is the world's fastest talking female at 603.32 words in 54.2 seconds!
"Glad I'm single!"
written by Inchcock, 06 May 2012
MG Rover bosses took £42m before its collapse... Workers get £3 each!
MPs said the infamous Phoenix Four should give some of their booty back after it was revealed staff will get just £3 compensation each!
"Fat chance!"
written by Inchcock, 05 May 2012
Local Elections 2012 Lib Dems now have fewest councillors ever!
A stark headline this morning for Lib Dems - they now have their lowest number of councillors since the party was formed in 1988!
"So, joining the coalition with the Tories wasn't such a good idea?"
written by Inchcock, 04 May 2012
Daily Mirror: Cameron needs to listen to voters and learn!
Austerity laced with unfairness, nepotism, & made toxic by incompetence and a dose of sleaze, is a toxic mix!
"Dear Mirror: Expecting Cameron to listen and be fair is inconceivable, & futile!"
written by Inchcock, 04 May 2012
Bank Holiday: Britain set for snow and temp's of minus six!
Families will shiver through trips ruined by bitter northerly winds and temperatures plunging as low as -6C!
"Oh dearie me!"
written by Inchcock, 04 May 2012
Sam Faiers to launch her autobiography at a gay nightclub!
The TOWIE star, 21, says she will wear her sparkliest outfit for the first signing of her book at London's G-A-Y club.
"I see... well I don't really!"
written by Inchcock, 04 May 2012
Local Elections: Respect Party Ousts Bradford Labour Leader!
George Galloway's Respect Party has followed up its shock by-election victory by winning five seats on Bradford Council, including that of the Labour leader.
"Good innit?"
written by Inchcock, 04 May 2012
4 May 2012: Local Elections: Tory's net loss 11 Councils!
The Tory party is facing - so far - a net loss of 11 councils.
Yippee!
written by Inchcock, 04 May 2012
Ed Miliband could become Prime Minister!
While Ukip splits the right-wing vote, the decline of the Lib Dems unifies the left!
"Now that is scary!"
written by Inchcock, 04 May 2012
Local Election Result: Vale of Glamorgan
Vale of Glamorgan final result: Lab 22; Con 11; UKIP 1; Ind 7; PC 6. Conservatives lose to no overall control.
Ha ha ha!
written by Inchcock, 04 May 2012
Scuffle between Labour and Lib-Dem Politicians!
A scuffle broke out between Labour and Lib-Dem politicians during an election count in St Helens.
"Fancy that!"
written by Inchcock, 04 May 2012
Camel's milk has 10 times more iron than cow's milk.
"Well I'll be blowed!"
written by Inchcock, 04 May 2012
Women have a better sense of smell than men!
"This explains a lot!"
written by Inchcock, 04 May 2012
Puppy on runway delays flights at NYC airport!
A 30-pound Rhodesian ridgeback puppy named Byrdie delayed several flights at New York's LaGuardia Airport when she escaped from her crate and frolicked around a busy runway.
"Well I'll be doggone!"
written by Inchcock, 03 May 2012
All these were invented by women!
Bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers were all invented by women.
"Clever little things... pretty too!"
written by Inchcock, 01 May 2012
Australian women most likely to have sex!
According to statistics, Australian women are most likely to have sex on the first date.
"Yahoo!"
written by Inchcock, 01 May 2012
Official: Want to cheer yourself up? Go for a walk in a cemetery!
Thinking about death can actually be a good thing as it leads people to bring positive changes to their lives and help others, a new report showed yesterday.
"I've always said so!"
written by Inchcock, 01 May 2012
I Must Be Dreaming! Woman Wins Lottery Twice!
Virginia Fike had the good fortune to buy not 1, but 2, tickets - both turned out to be $1m winners.
Officials presented her with a $2m cheque.
"Good for her!"
written by Inchcock, 01 May 2012
1923: Attorney General declared it is legal for women to wear trousers!
In 1923 the U.S. Attorney General declared it is legal for women to wear trousers.
"And many a man had regretted that ruling... women... huh!"
written by Inchcock, 01 May 2012
True Legend: It is illegal to die in Parliament
This was voted Britain's "most ludicrous law"
"Let them die, the nepotistic bastards!"
written by Inchcock, 30 April 2012
Showing page 17 (of 54 pages)
