Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Inchcock.
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Showing page 15 (of 54 pages)
Miliband admits: We lost the plot when we were in government!
"Our political reporter Bartholomew Utterswaithe reports they are still looking for it!"
written by Inchcock, 16 May 2012
Hollande to meet Merkel to discuss the eurozone's fiscal treaty!
We are unsure of which train carriage they will in yet.
written by Inchcock, 16 May 2012
Extra UK border staff to be hired
Immigration minister says 70 extra staff will be recruited.
Bogdan Petrescu, Vojvoda Bogut, & Carlos Kolosavanos will be heading up the new team, based in the Outer Hebrides.
written by Inchcock, 16 May 2012
Roy Hodgson drops Rio Ferdinand!
Well he shouldn't picked him up in the first place surely?
written by Inchcock, 16 May 2012
New Jersey town begins issuing $85 fines for texting while walking!
The Fort Lee Police Department has issued 117 tickets for reckless walking in the past month, with offenders being forced to pay the penalty.
"Oh?"
written by Inchcock, 16 May 2012
15th May 2012: UK Political Party Leader Support Poll
Cameron -29%
Clegg -54%
Miliband -23%
"Doesn't say a lot for any of them does it?"
written by Inchcock, 15 May 2012
15th May 2012: UK Government Approval Poll
Approve: 23%
Disapprove: 66%
Don't Know: 11%
"There really is 11% of voters who Don't Know?"
written by Inchcock, 15 May 2012
Drivers to face 50% rise in fuel duty!
This is to cover a £13 billion hole in treasury coffers - as more people turn to green cars, that attract less road tax!
"There's no winning is there!"
written by Inchcock, 15 May 2012
Bartholomew Utterswaithes's Truisms. No.8
If the effort that went into research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now have a McDonald's open and trading on the moon!
written by Inchcock, 15 May 2012
Bartholomew Utterswaithes's Truisms. No.7
When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him!
written by Inchcock, 14 May 2012
Bartholomew Utterswaithes's Truisms. No.6
The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings!
written by Inchcock, 14 May 2012
Bartholomew Utterswaithes's Truisms. No.5
It's hard to say why politicians are called servants - unless it is because a good one is hard to find!
written by Inchcock, 14 May 2012
Bartholomew Utterswaithes's Truisms. No.4
Politics is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen!
written by Inchcock, 13 May 2012
Bartholomew Utterswaithes's Truisms. No.3
Always remember that you are absolutely unique, just like everyone else!
written by Inchcock, 13 May 2012
Bartholomew Utterswaithes's Truisms. No.2
There is always an easy answer to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong!
written by Inchcock, 13 May 2012
Bartholomew Utterswaithes's Truisms. No.1:
An "acceptable" level of unemployment means that the government minister to whom it is acceptable still has a job!
written by Inchcock, 13 May 2012
UK Border Agency paid £3.5m in bonuses!
The UK Border Agency (UKBA) - recently branded "not fit for purpose" - paid £3.5m in performance-related bonuses to staff in one year!
"Makes you sick dunnit?"
written by Inchcock, 12 May 2012
94 year-old Emma Winnall attack: £5,000 reward offered
Emma Winnall suffered a fractured skull, a broken arm and wrist and a partially severed finger at her Birmingham home overnight on 30 April.
Horrendous picture of Victim
"I hope the man is caught!"
written by Inchcock, 12 May 2012
Hospital car park man 'dead for two days'!
A man who was found dead in his car at a Devon hospital is believed to have died two days earlier, police said!
"I'm surprised a parking attendant didn't find him earlier!"
written by Inchcock, 12 May 2012
Political Quote of the week: David Cameron
"The problems of over-spending and too much debt can't be solved by even more spending and even more debt!"
"Amazing, his depth of understanding and stating the obvious!"
written by Inchcock, 12 May 2012
Power outage disrupts BT services in parts of Sussex!
Thousands of BT customers in Eastbourne, Polegate, Hailsham and parts of Brighton & Sussex have had their telephone and internet services disrupted by a power outage.
"Well fancy that!"
written by Inchcock, 11 May 2012
Showing page 15 (of 54 pages)
