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Showing page 14 (of 15 pages)
Paula Deen apologizes for racist slur
Celebrity chef Paula Deen apologized to the Food Network for using a racist slur, saying "I wish I'd never heard of black people!" (except, instead of "black people," she used a racist slur).
written by Gee Pee, 22 June 2013
Eddie Murphy makes racist comment about his main squeeze
Alleged comedian Eddie Murphy recently made a racist comment about his bikini-clad Caucasian girlfriend, Paige Butcher, describing the blonde bombshell as "white hot." Murphy has since apologized.
written by Gee Pee, 22 June 2013
Matt Lauer rates Katie Couric
Matt ("The Rat") Lauer told Howard Stern that he would rate colleague Katie Couric's personality as "a 9 or a 10," but said, "her ass is definitely off the charts." He refused to rate Ann Curry.
written by Gee Pee, 21 June 2013
Tom Cruise endorses Walmart for "improving women's lives"
In a recent appearance at a Walmart stockholders' meeting, Scientologist Tom Cruise praised the retail giant for improving women's lives: "Their sex discrimination suit could make them millionaires!"
written by Gee Pee, 21 June 2013
Shirley Jones: the long and the short of incest
She and stepson (and "Partridge Family" son), David Cassidy, may have had incestuous sex. Shirley Jones isn't saying. "I don't kiss and tell," she said. "But David's nickname? Long Dong."
written by Gee Pee, 21 June 2013
McDonald's franchise sued
A McDonald's franchise, owned and operated by Ronald McDonald (no relation to the clown, as far as The Spoof knows), was sued for requiring employees to use a high-fee ATM card to access their pay.
written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Erin Brady crowned Miss USA; no one cares
Miss Connecticut, Erin Brady, was recently crowned Miss USA, but no one tuned in to watch the ceremony. Instead, viewers' eyes were glued to Canada's Naked News TV anchors' reports on world events.
written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Serena Williams: rape is parents' fault
Tennis superstar Serena Williams says a 16-year-old girl's rape by her school's football team is the girl's parents' fault: "They should have brought her up better. Instead, they raised a slut."
written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Castro scheduled for trial
Unable to capture Fidel, the U. S. has settled, instead, for persecuting Ariel Fidel, who kept women as a harem of sex slaves, sexually assaulting them between their performance of domestic chores.
written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Michelle Obama on world tour
Michelle Obama, searching for her roots, visited Ireland and Germany. Next stop? Africa. "My family came from somewhere other than a plantation," she said, "and I am going to find out where."
written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
FBI cannot find Jimmy Hoffa
A search for Teamster boss Jimmy Hoffa's remains in a field identified by a Mafia insider has failed to deliver. Disappointed, President Obama ordered, "Dig a little deeper!"
written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Putin steals, sells Super Bowl ring
Having stolen the New England Patriots owner's Super Bowl championship ring, Russian president, KGB kleptomaniac Vladimir Putin, plans to pawn it once it has been displayed in the Kremlin.
written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Courtney Stodden shows plastic surgeon's handiwork
Teen bride Courtney Stodden promised her mom she'd never go naked, and, in showing off her new Double-D boobs, she hasn't broken that vow: "Theyre not mine," she said. "They're my plastic surgeon's."
written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Brazilian bus fares cut
A recent rise in Brazilian bus fares sparked violent protests, followed by widespread boycotts. As a result, fares have been cut, and passengers need pay only two hens and a goat during rush hour.
written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
George Zimmer fired
Stripped of his position by the ingrates on the board of directors of the company he founded, Men's Warehouse CEO George Zimmer plans to sell clothes out of his car's trunk. "Maybe thongs," he said.
written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
James Gandolfini dies
As the result of a suspected mob hit, James Gandolfini, godfather of the notorious Soprano crime family, died while on "vacation" in Rome, Italy. He was 51.
written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Japan announces 416 new jobs
Japan has created 416 new jobs in Larne, County Antrim, (Northern Ireland, for you Yanks). "Someone has to make bedpans," Japanese PM Shinzo Abe said, "and Japanese just won't do that kind of work."
written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Egg thief threatens endangered birds
England is known for its eccentrics, but one bloke's fancy for the eggs of an endangered bird species threatens little terns with extinction. The queen begs the thief to give hen's eggs a try instead.
written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Dolce and Gabbana design new fashion line
Italian fashion designers Dolce and Gabbana, recently convicted of tax evasion and facing prison time, have launched a new line of apparel for "inmates who want to look stylish."
written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Obesity a disease
Bowing to pressure from First Lady Michelle Obama, the AMA voted to declare obesity a disease, calling for Michael Moore's execution, even as it vastly increased its potential patient population.
written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Oscar Pistorius
Olympic "Blade Runner" and accused killer Oscar Pistorius denies that he is now, or ever has been, the notorious English murderer Spring-heeled Jack: "That's my modus operandi, but not my alias."
written by Gee Pee, 18 June 2013
NASA selects four women as new astronauts
A NASA spokesman denied allegations that the agency's selection of four well-endowed women as future astronauts had anything to do with their having "heavenly bodies."
written by Gee Pee, 18 June 2013
Correction to Lindsay Lohan headline
Erratum: The headline, "Troubled actress Lindsay Lohan checked out yet another rehab facility" should have read "checked out of yet another rehab facility." The Spoof regrets this error.
written by Gee Pee, 18 June 2013
Lois Lerner explains herself
"I plead the Fifth Amendment to the Constitution not because I am guilty of anything, but because I don't want to be found guilty of anything."
written by Gee Pee, 18 June 2013
Showing page 14 (of 15 pages)
