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Showing page 13 (of 15 pages)
Kate Gosselin explains herself
Kate Gosselin, responding to charges that her slanting of her eyes in a recent Twitter photo was "racist" said, "I wasn't insulting anybody. I had something in my eye---both of them."
written by Gee Pee, 26 June 2013
Anthony Weiner outstrips frontrunner
Democrat Anthony Weiner is ahead by a penis in his New York City mayoral race against dickless rival Christine Quinn.
written by Gee Pee, 26 June 2013
IRS agents' taxpayer-provided credit cards prove Americans love porn
According to the IRS, more American taxpayers' money is spent on porn than is spent on booze, broads, or betting. "We know," one agent said, "because we buy this stuff on their behalf."
written by Gee Pee, 26 June 2013
Mick Jagger taunts Obama during Washington, DC concert
Mick Jagger told a crowd that President Obama was "listening in" on his Stones concert via NSA eavesdropping equipment "because he likes good music, even if he pretends to be into only gangsta rap."
written by Gee Pee, 26 June 2013
Paula Deen's sons defend her against charges of racism
"Mom is no more a racist than we are," Bobby Deen said. "She wouldn't say anything we wouldn't say," brother Jamie agreed. Deen's sons are the celebrity chef's partners in a restaurant named Sambo's
written by Gee Pee, 25 June 2013
Jackie Chan not yet dead
Quashing rumors of his death, martial arts expert and actor Jackie Chan said, "I'm not dead, nor has Chuck Norris killed me. Like Mark Twain, "news of my death is greatly exaggerated."
written by Gee Pee, 25 June 2013
Scotty Pippen investigated for assault on a former fan
Former Chicago Bulls player, NBA superstar Scotty Pippen, is being investigated for assaulting a fan. "He want my autograph, but he don't want to pay," Pippen said, "so I give him a fist in the face."
written by Gee Pee, 25 June 2013
Good news for golfers who don't know enough to come in out of the rain
According to meterologists, it's okay to play golf during thunderstorms, because lightning more frequently strikes fishermen than it does golfers. Golf, anyone?
written by Gee Pee, 25 June 2013
Beijing bans Labrador retrievers
Officials in Beijing, China, have banned Labrador retrievers after receiving numerous complaints about the large canines. "Their meat too tough, too stringy," Chinese authorities charge.
written by Gee Pee, 25 June 2013
Joan Rivers bonds with Bristol Palin
After swapping her own daughter Melissa for Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol on Celebrity Wife Swap, Rivers bonded with Bristol, saying, "I shouldn't have judged her; it's not easy being a Gentile."
written by Gee Pee, 25 June 2013
IRS targeting more widespread than previously thought
Danny Werfel, the new IRS chief, told Congress that his agency targeted more than conservative political groups: "If your last name starts with a letter between 'A' and 'Z,' we targeted you," he said.
written by Gee Pee, 25 June 2013
Sharapova favored over Williams
According to a poll conducted by Sports Illustrated: The Swimsuit Issue, tennis fans favor Maria Sharapova over Serena Williams "10 to 1" because Sharapova is "hot" and Williams is "not."
written by Gee Pee, 25 June 2013
Brad Pitt promotes new flick
Actor Brad Pitt says that living with Angelina Jolie all these years prepared him for his role as a zombie fighter in the X-rated film World War Z, cumming soon to a theater near you.
written by Gee Pee, 25 June 2013
Plants perform arithmetic; calculate square roots
Botanists have learned that plants do complex arithmetic, calculating square roots. Now what will vegans eat? PETA prepares a new nude campaign to save the planet's greenery, recommends starvation.
written by Gee Pee, 25 June 2013
George Lucas marries
To prove he is not a racist, that he is not a goody-goody, and that he is still "smoking hot"), Star Wars creator George Lucas, 69, wed Mellody Hobson, 44, who comes from the Dark Side of the Farce.
written by Gee Pee, 25 June 2013
Facebook CEO charms South Koreans with "proper handshake"
On a goodwill tour of Asia, Mark Zuckerberg, 29, delighted South Koreans by palming a joy buzzer when he shook their hands. "They're really like children," he beamed. "They'll love Facebook."
written by Gee Pee, 24 June 2013
Twinkies make comeback
Twinkies, pulled from grocery shelves when Hostess went bankrupt months ago, are coming back, with but one change: wrappers with new expiration dates have been added. They have an amazing shelf life.
written by Gee Pee, 24 June 2013
Nelson Mandela to be freeze-dried
Giving up on saving the life of ailing former South African leader Nelson Mandela, doctors suggest his family freeze-dry him. That way, he can still appear in the news and bring them more attention.
written by Gee Pee, 24 June 2013
Sheep-eating plant proves to be omnivorous
UK botanists have weened puya chilensis off meat. Normally, the barbed plant traps and eats sheep. Scientists say it is "omnivorous." In short, don't get too close: the damned thing will eat anything!
written by Gee Pee, 24 June 2013
New ammo in U. S.'s holy war against Islam
An innovative company's new ammo for the U. S's holy war against militant Islam? Bullets dipped in pork rind oil. The "offensive" ammo is "sure to send the infidels to hell," the inventor says.
written by Gee Pee, 23 June 2013
Paula Deen to add new item to menu
Embattled celebrity chef Paula Deen, known for her Southern cooking and racism, has announced the addition of a new item to her menu: soul food. She hopes the new dish will win over "the black folks."
written by Gee Pee, 22 June 2013
Bethenny Frankel explains why she became a mom
Celebrity chef Bethenny Frankel told The Spoof that she had a baby so she could display her "boobs in public" while "feeding my brat." A nudist at heart, she is willing to do "whatever" to go topless.
written by Gee Pee, 22 June 2013
Nik Wallenda promises "oohs" and "ahhs"
Nik Wallenda will attempt suicide by walking across the Grand Canyon without a net in an "insane feat" to air live on the Discovery Channel. "For what we're paying, we expect a slip," promoters said.
written by Gee Pee, 22 June 2013
Chris Christie angers everyone but Democrats
Gov. Chris Christie (R) may bankrupt his state by forcing it to pay $24 million for a special election to choose who replaces dead U. S. Sen. Lautenberg (D), when he could stack the deck for nothing.
written by Gee Pee, 22 June 2013
Showing page 13 (of 15 pages)
