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Showing page 10 (of 15 pages)
Brits nip it in the bud
Sadomasochistic Brits, tired of piercing their nips, now tattoo them, some for cosmetic reasons, some just for fun. "It hurts like hell," one woman said, with a wink. "It's way better a spanking."
written by Gee Pee, 02 July 2013
Neil Patrick Harris to marry
Heterosexual actor Neil Patrick ("Doogie Hawser") Harris will wed David Burtka, as no women are interested in marrying him and David's consented. "Plus, he's submissive," Harris divulged with a wink.
written by Gee Pee, 02 July 2013
College loan rates soar
In an effort to further dumb down the American electorate, Congress allowed college loan rates to skyrocket. "I want voters who are dumb enough to re-elect me," Senator Harry Reid said.
written by Gee Pee, 02 July 2013
As a public relations ploy, Smithfield Hams ham it up
Smithfield Hams sent gays and lesbians free canned hams with cards that read, "We like the look of your can." Recipients were offended. "I have an ass," one said, "not a 'can'--and mine's not fat!"
written by Gee Pee, 02 July 2013
Target targets gays
Target has sued gays for soliciting customers outside their stores. "Our customers are not johns," a manager said, "nor do they want to be treated as such. Let gays take their 'business' to Walmart."
written by Gee Pee, 02 July 2013
Walmart goes gay
To "celebrate diversity" in the wake of the Supreme Court's DOMA ruling, Walmart is opening Gaymart, a subsidiary that sells dildos and other metchandise "of importance to gays and lesbians."
written by Gee Pee, 02 July 2013
Alec Baldwin is glad he's one of Hollyweird's finest
Alec Baldwin said he's glad he's an actor, not a celebrity cook and glad his hate speech targeted a gay man, rather than a black man. "Paula Deen doesn't know whom she can disrespect; I do," he said.
written by Gee Pee, 02 July 2013
Alec Baldwin: "I am not a homoprobe"
Actor Alec Baldwin said he does not hate "queers, just queens." He's okay with gays per se, he declared, although, he clarified, "I myself am a heterosexual, not a homoprobe."
written by Gee Pee, 02 July 2013
Singer singing the IRS blues
Singer Lauryn Hill, who failed to report $1.8 million income to the IRS, blames the tax agency for the 3-month prison sentence she's been served: "Everybody know black folks don't pay no damn taxes!"
written by Gee Pee, 01 July 2013
Alec Baldwin apologizes for being homophobic
Homophobic actor Alec Baldwin apologized for bashing gays on Twitter: "If I were a white celebrity cook, instead of a cool white dude, it'd be over for me," he admitted. "Sorry to disappoint."
written by Gee Pee, 01 July 2013
Neon Deion thankful to God for divorce
Former football great "Neon" Deion Sanders thanked God for ending his marriage to his late wife Pilar. "I only pray, now," he said, "that God finds me a new girlfriend with big boobs and a tight ass."
written by Gee Pee, 01 July 2013
Page 3 girl's place safe in The Sun
London's tabloid newspaper, The Sun, assures readers that its infamous Page 3 Girl will remain "prominently displayed," even if news items must be deleted. "Nudes before news" is the paper's motto.
written by Gee Pee, 01 July 2013
Kate Moss makes naked fashion statement
Actress Kate Moss appears naked with a pair of Versace "flesh tone" funbags in an upcoming ad. The minimalist approach of the ad apparently includes the exclusion of Kate's clothes.
written by Gee Pee, 01 July 2013
Celebs with no nudity clauses in their contracts
Not every Hollyweird strumpet will get naked on film for money. In fact, the list of those who refuse to do so is surprisingly long: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Reese Witherspoon, and Julia Roberts.
written by Gee Pee, 01 July 2013
Samuel L. Jackson: no nudes is good news
Actor Samuel L. Jackson hates getting naked with leading ladies, feeling they may be insulted if they fail to arouse him. He's disappointed a lot of ladies, he admits. "I'm a hard guy to please."
written by Gee Pee, 01 July 2013
Arizona shows Nevada how it's done
To no avail, Nevada has been trying to kill residents with blistering 3-digit temperatures. Arizona showed its northern neighbor how it's done, killing 19 firefighetrs at once in a massive wildfire.
written by Gee Pee, 01 July 2013
Biden missing
Vice-President Joe Biden appears to have gone missing. He hasn't been seen since Nov. 20, 1942. President Obama has "no idea" where Biden may be. "He's AWOL," Obama admitted, "or in hiding."
written by Gee Pee, 30 June 2013
Evolution at work
An already-intense heat wave has intensified further across the southwestern region of the United States as the triple-digit temperatures seek to thin out the herd in California, Arizona, and Nevada.
written by Gee Pee, 30 June 2013
Obama seeks power over Africa
In advance of Nelson Mandela's imminent death, Barak Obama announced a new "power initiative" for Africa. Critics contend he is referring to a power grab by which to recolonize the dark continent.
written by Gee Pee, 30 June 2013
Bill Gates: Microsoft is not going gay
To celebrate gays, Microsoft's Bing web browser displayed a rainbow flag on its homepage. Bill Gates denies that he is taking sides in the political issue. "We displayed the flag because it's pretty."
written by Gee Pee, 30 June 2013
Too sweet to eat
American school kids reject the more nutritious lunches Michelle Obama seeks to shove down their throats. In retaliation, the First Lady orders vending machines to stock granola, not candy, bars.
written by Gee Pee, 30 June 2013
New "Terminator" trilogy approved
Paramount has announced that a "trilogy" of new Terminator movies will be filmed. "No cast or crew are needed," an executive said. "The films are so familiar they can shoot themselves."
written by Gee Pee, 29 June 2013
6-year-old transsexual wins rights to girls' potty
Six year-old transsexual Coy Mathis will be allowed to pee sitting down--in his grade school's girls' bathroom. A state judge ruled that the school's female students must relieve themselves outdoors.
written by Gee Pee, 29 June 2013
Alec Baldwin: "I'm not homophobic"
After tweeting of his desire to "foot f**k" a gay reporter, actor Alec Baldwin denied that he is homophobic. "I just have a foot fetish," he explained, "and the reporter has a nice, hot ass."
written by Gee Pee, 29 June 2013
Showing page 10 (of 15 pages)
