Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Midgetgems.
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Youtube workers call 48 hr strike
World comes to standstill and breathes huge sigh of relief
written by Midgetgems, 10 June 2009
Speed Dating
Are you good at quickly packing Moroccan dates into small packets to conceal the stuff? Call Mustapha 085002 478392084
written by Midgetgems, 17 May 2009
Bald and Ugly?
Let us turn things around for you. Log on to uglyandbald.web
written by Midgetgems, 17 May 2009
Positive energy
In a bid to save energy Washington DC is going to be renamed Washington AC. "We are looking forward to the switch" said a spokesman claiming to be "in charge".
written by Midgetgems, 15 May 2009
Ronaldo Interest Cut
The Bank of England has cut the rate of interest in what Ronaldo was doing when his car "fell over". Police have appealed for witlesses.
written by Midgetgems, 08 January 2009
Rudolf to retire
Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer has become obsolete according to elves close to Santa. It is thought he will be sent to the knackers yard to be made into glue, thus becoming red-nosed render.
written by Midgetgems, 16 December 2008
Reykjavik
Reykjavik. Icelandic bankers say it was obvious that investing money in their country was always a stupid idea as its capital is always frozen.
written by Midgetgems, 03 November 2008
Must-have toy award
This Christmas, the winner of the must-have toy award is : My little abattoir.
written by Midgetgems, 02 November 2008
Schwarzenegger makes historic speech
In an historic speech Arnold Schwarzenegger managed to string more than five words together. He apparently said something like "ug, need meat, ug ug"
written by Midgetgems, 02 November 2008
WLTM
Hopeless romantic seeks equally useless woman for doomed relationship
written by Midgetgems, 30 October 2008
Shang-a-lang revisited
Seventies supergroup, The Bay City Rollers are to reform under the new name The Obesity Rollers
written by Midgetgems, 29 September 2008
Pain in the 'neck
Sarah Palin is to undergo surgery to have the letter L removed from her surname. She had thought it was a vowel problem but now she complains of consonant pain.
written by Midgetgems, 24 September 2008
Rogues gallery
Police are investigating numerous reports of persistent fly tipping at the Tate modern.
written by Midgetgems, 23 September 2008
Name Swap
As from Tuesday, Leicester will swap names with Swindon as part of a long-term plan to see if anyone notices.
written by Midgetgems, 23 September 2008
Odd shapes
Strange rectangular shapes have appeared overnight in a Berkshire field. Local people say they are probably just crap circles.
written by Midgetgems, 19 September 2008
Anxiety helpline
Fear of secrets? Fear of Fire? Fear of telephones? Fear of the present? Call our confidential hotline NOW!
written by Midgetgems, 17 September 2008
Mobile fears
A new term to describe fear of being without a mobile phone has been introduced. The word is 'pathetic'.
written by Midgetgems, 17 September 2008
Delia at it again
Delia Smith in trouble with Norwich City board after publishing new cookbook for winos called 'Yahayy! Nourish! Zzzz'
written by Midgetgems, 15 September 2008
Poor statistics
Shock figures reveal up to 58% of statisticians may be wrong although the figure could be much nearer 79%.
written by Midgetgems, 12 September 2008
Iran up to something
Iranian president Amhandin ... Ahmadeban ... Ahmedinaj ... Ah forget it.
written by Midgetgems, 12 September 2008
Nuclear test
Sarah Palin can't pronounce the word 'nuclear' properly either. FAIL.
written by Midgetgems, 12 September 2008
Chelsea to complete Barcelona deal
Chelsea footballers are expected to complete the signing of a plank of deal imported from Spain this afternoon.
written by Midgetgems, 10 September 2008
Bin Laden turns to poetry
Osama Bin Laden has taken up poetry to relieve stress. Writing in 'Terror Monthly, originally set up for part-time anarchists, he says. "It seems I've always been a poet but I didn't ... realise"
written by Midgetgems, 09 September 2008
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