Showing breaking news satire snippets written by pinkwalrus.
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God flushes toilet
...then has to get out plunger and flush a couple more times.
written by pinkwalrus, 27 October 2019
Kim Jong Un Admits Why He's Testing More Rockets
He is tired of being upstaged by President Trump.
written by pinkwalrus, 05 August 2017
China Demands US Solves Its Canada Problem
"It's only fair if we fix your North Korea problem for you," says President Xi Jinping.
written by pinkwalrus, 05 August 2017
Celebrity Divas Bring Law Suit Against White House
They are suing for damages due to lost press over past year.
written by pinkwalrus, 05 August 2017
Trump Presidency Reality Show Cancelled
After about six months it started getting too repetitious.
Viewers complained of too many firings,
too many tweets, and not enough real action.
written by pinkwalrus, 05 August 2017
Chief of Staff Kelly Solves White House Problems
By Finding On/Off Switch and Rebooting System
written by pinkwalrus, 05 August 2017
White House Cleaning Staff Accidentally Flushes Trump Administration
"Sometimes it's hard to tell the trash that people want to keep."
"Someone should have left us a note," said unnamed staff member.
written by pinkwalrus, 18 April 2017
GOP Offers Spy Decoder Glasses & Earpiece
Understand what Devin Nunes says in real time!
written by pinkwalrus, 28 March 2017
"We are getting along great," says Trump of WH
"Anyone who says differently is fired."
(quote from unnamed source)
written by pinkwalrus, 08 March 2017
Man has day he forgot Trump is president
"Who knew food tasted so good!"
He also enjoyed neighbors, wife, kids, dog, wine, and wind on his face.
written by pinkwalrus, 27 February 2017
Palestinians Approach Putin For U.S. Policy Change
*fun fact*
written by pinkwalrus, 27 January 2017
White House Press Room Redecorated
with Alice in Wonderland theme
written by pinkwalrus, 27 January 2017
Small Austrian Town Seeks Part Time Hermit
is swamped with American applicants
written by pinkwalrus, 27 January 2017
Rudy Giuliani Named Cyber Security Advisor
Learns to turn on his computer.
written by pinkwalrus, 13 January 2017
Bernie bro and Trump supporter find
they are engaged to same Russian troll
written by pinkwalrus, 09 January 2017
New red caps on order
"Sdelat' ameriki zdorovo snova"
(this platform won't allow for original Cyrillic spelling)
written by pinkwalrus, 08 January 2017
Trump downsizes White House
Citing concerns for his carbon footprint, Trump plans to move the first family into a smaller building using only solar power.
written by pinkwalrus, 08 January 2017
New WWF Season Announced
Trump v. Democracy: The Final Smackdown
written by pinkwalrus, 08 January 2017
GOP pledges consistency
They vow to hold themselves to the same standards they have held the Democrats to: careful vetting of cabinet picks, open investigations of scandals, etc.
The public can just leave it all to them.
written by pinkwalrus, 08 January 2017
Due to a shortage of performers for the inauguration
Bill Clinton will be playing a saxophone solo.
written by pinkwalrus, 08 January 2017
God Asks Philippine President Duterte to Stop Swearing
Duterte heard God speak directly to him on a flight back from Japan, telling him he must stop swearing or the plane would crash.
Apparently God was not worried about anything else he is doing.
written by pinkwalrus, 28 October 2016
The Libertarian Ticket
Johnson: Asks reporter "Why are you even interviewing me?"
VP Weld: Don't vote for Trump & don't "waste" your vote
written by pinkwalrus, 28 October 2016
Unnamed Candidate Suggests Cancelling Election
And would just like to be handed the presidency...
is open to being crowned.
written by pinkwalrus, 28 October 2016
Putin Flexes Flabby Muscle
The 30 year old Admiral Kuznetsov, Russia's only aircraft carrier, is on parade around Europe to Syria belching smoke and escorted by a tug boat in case it breaks down.
written by pinkwalrus, 28 October 2016
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