Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Danny Soz.
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Harry McGuire Denies Posing for Nude Photos
'It's a complete cock and ball story' claims the England and Manchester United defender
written by Danny Soz, 18 April 2022
Boris Johnson Weight Gain Latest
The PM is now so fat that when he attends parliament he sits next to everybody
written by Danny Soz, 13 April 2022
Man with no legs thrown out of dance hall
He kept arsing about, says manager
written by Danny Soz, 29 January 2022
Chinese national battered by cops after giving name
I did nothing wrong, says Yoo Fat Fuk
written by Danny Soz, 22 January 2022
Man Who Bought Boomerang From Ghost...
Hopes it won't come back to haunt him.
written by Danny Soz, 16 January 2022
Prince Andrew starting to sweat again, says Queen
'It was literally pouring off him when I told him I wasn't going to foot his legal bills' Her Majesty confirmed.
written by Danny Soz, 08 January 2022
Double Amputee Expelled From Paralympics
"He kept arsing about" a Games spokesperson said last night.
written by Danny Soz, 07 September 2012
Victoria Pendleton's Frustrated Boyfriend Hits Out.
"She always seemed to be on her bloody cycle!" he said last night.
written by Danny Soz, 07 September 2012
Sex Survey Reveals Women's "Sexiest Time"
My old woman reckons it's when I go down the pub and the geezer next door comes in to service the boiler :(
written by Danny Soz, 10 May 2012
Chinese Political Prisoner Survives By Drinking Own Urine
Blimey sounds like a night's boozing in The Lord Rodney's Head, Whitechapel! :(
written by Danny Soz, 09 May 2012
A London Teenager Is Shot Or Knifed In The Capital Every Day
Oh well we can't all be Mr Popular I suppose :(
written by Danny Soz, 02 May 2012
Man Pays 21K At Southerbys For FA Cup Final Programme
Blimey I remember paying 2/6d for mine at the turnstiles at Upton Park! It's no longer a working man's game is it? :(
written by Danny Soz, 02 May 2012
British Fighter Jet Shot Down By US Friendly Fire
Flight Lieutenant Alan Baxter told MOD investigators "They waved cheerily, blew kisses and then blasted us out of the sky"
written by Danny Soz, 07 April 2012
Coffee Cuts Risk Of Alzheimers
Now then, where did I put that poxy cup? :(
written by Danny Soz, 24 March 2012
Man Held By Dorking Police
"I'm completely innocent!" he said last night. "I've never dorked in my life!"
written by Danny Soz, 19 March 2012
Englebert To Represent Britain In Eurovision Aged 98
A showbiz pal revealed he intends to give a rendition of "I'll Take The Last Rites With You"
written by Danny Soz, 02 March 2012
Man Quits Job At Helium Balloon Plant
"I wasn't going to have people talking to me like that!" he said last night.
written by Danny Soz, 01 March 2012
John Motson Stricken By Tourette's Syndrome
Oh no, he's hit the fucking post the ****! said the popular football commentator last night.
written by Danny Soz, 21 February 2012
Man Held For Using Smutty Innuendo And Threatening The Clergy
"I can't wait to bash the bishop!" he said in a statement last night
written by Danny Soz, 10 February 2012
Man Found To Be Suffering From Rare "Posh" Tourettes
When questioned he replied "You're all a load of flipping flippers and jolly bad eggs and deserve roasting in front of an open fire! HUZZAH HUZZAH FUCK!
written by Danny Soz, 09 February 2012
Man Loses Letter "C" from Keyboard
"It's been an absolute unt ever sine I bought the fuker" he said last night
written by Danny Soz, 27 January 2012
Silent Movie Set For Clean Sweep At Oscars
A delighted movie insider said last night "....................................!"
written by Danny Soz, 24 January 2012
Vicar Converts Shed Into Brothel
"I used to keep garden tools and spare cassocks in the shed but now it's a thriving rub and tug shop and I'm pimping for 6 bitches! I cant wait to tell the bishop!"
written by Danny Soz, 20 January 2012
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