London - (Ass Mess): It launched the careers of scores of badass old slags. But today Nigel Wingrove's soft porn empire has gone folded owing millions. Recent signees Georgina 'Satanic Sluts' Bailiie and Koo Stark's daughter Kate Middleton have b...
London - (Russ/Ross Mess): Comic TV actor Andrew Sachs has disinherited granddaughter Georgina 'Satanic Sluts' Baillie for subjecting the family to the lurid Russell Brand shagging farce. Baillie's Daily Screws intimate blow-by-blow revelations "...
New York - (ReUterus & Succubus Ass Mess): "The man's insatiable for Satanic Slut vagina vipers!" LAFagHagSlagMag Manhattan correspondent Dave Skank commented today as the news broke of UK comic Russell Brand's latest demonic conquest, Che Guevar...
London - (OMFG! Mess): London's top Opus Dei pastor has been identified as the blood-father who spawned 'Satanic Sluts' stripper Georgina Baillie. His former North London parishioners say they were excommunicated after claiming the Opus Dei inquis...
Vatican - (Holy Shit! Mess): The BBC's shambolic Russell Brand slag-shagging shame fiasco took a new twist this weekend with the Vatican urging an immediate exorcism of Georgina 'Satanic Sluts' Baillie. Pope Joe 'The Plumber' Ratzinger apparently...
Los Angeles - (Ms Voluptua Mess): No more Satanic Sluts shenanigans on seamy Hampstead Heath shag-sites for the UK's most reviled extertainer this weekend! Russell Brand looked relaxed and high as a kite as he wowed a packed Largo Coronet Theatre...
Juneau, Alaska - (Satanic Sluts Mess): GOP vice presidential wannabe Sarah Palin has been duped by a prank phone call from Russell Brand telling her he shagged her daughter Bristol. Brand, 33, said the experience was cathartic and that he was tire...
Buckingham Palace, London, England - Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth The Second has declined an offer to join the Satanic Sluts dance troupe. In a statement issued from the palace the reasons given were that HRH is knocking on a bit and that ce...
London - (Slutty Ass Mess): Septuagenarian beZimmer-framed TV chatshow host Terry Wogan is devoting an entire chapter of his forthcoming memoir to the night that he waited in queue behind Russell Brand to shag Georgina 'Satanic Sluts' Baillie. "A...
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