Remember when solar panels were so ineffective you could only use them to heat up water from tepid to luke-warm? Or when, in order to heat the average home you needed a solar power panel the size of Wales? Well all that's changed. The latest Power Panels are so efficient they can be used almost anywhere. Imagine having a torch that you can leave on all the time and it never goes out! Using...
Pyongyang, North Korea - At an informal press conference/luncheon yesterday, North Korea unveiled its newest automobile, the Plutonium. The car is named after the highly radioactive chemical element with which most of the chassis and frame are const...
Whitehall, SW1 - (Ass Mess): Prime Monster's wife Cherie Blair has told Breakfast TV about the moment when police officers from the UK's National Poisons Unit raided her Chambers after a number of barristers' wigs tested positive for Plut...
North Atlantic Ocean - (Ass Mess): A plane of the Queen's Flight carrying Prime Monster Tony Blair had to be diverted en route to Washington DC tonight after cabin staff reported a strange whiff of suspected Polonium 210 fumes coming from the VIP...
Warsaw - (Associated Mess): Traces of the radioactive toxin Polonium 210 have been found in a consignment of traditional Yuletide roll-mop herrings at the Polish embassy-in-exile in Warsaw, the official legation representing quaint separatist faction...
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