Highly sensitive information has emerged this week about an alleged 'altercation' between Dame Judi Dench and the Queen.'Serious concerns' about the Monarch's behaviour have been expressed by Prime Minister Dave (JammieDodger) Cameroon. Circumstances...
In an historic statement the Queen and Prime Minister Cameron have agreed they are 'in it together'. They will jointly demonstrate that even the most powerful people in British society are going to take their share of the national burden. Followin...
Washington - "Just a routine precaution, guys," NASA head of Doomsday debunking Dr Tamara Hexoplasm commented, "in case any remaining Mayan apocalypse peddlers latch onto this latest hoodoo about the rescheduled End Of The World." The new video di...
Sandringham, Norfolk - Some Tricky Dicky-shaped hexoplasm has blown the knickers off Queen Elizabeth during an eve-of-centenary seance at Sandringham's Aleister Crowley Memorial Wing. The Nixon apparition materialized following a ouija board messa...
Number Ten and the Palace are said to be 'stunned' by the news that the wrong New Years Honours list has been published. According to the Palace, there was a minor lapse in security on Boxing day, when Philip and Camilla got a bit drunk and 'hacke...
FRED: Allo, Ron. Happy Boxing Day. Pint's ready for yer on the table 'ere. RON: Cheers Fred. Do much Christmas Day? Any visitors? FRED: Nah, very quiet. Most ov my fam'ly died off years ago. Stuffed me face wiv turkey, watched the Queen's speech on the telly, then 'ad a few cans before fallin' a kip in me armchair. RON: Same wivs my lot. Still the odd one dotted abaht 'ere n there but mo...
Despite mounting anger from Argentina, after a part of Antartica was named after the Queen this week, it has been reported that the Falklands are to be renamed the "Nyah nyah ne-nyah nyah Islands". The UK ambassador to Argentina was summoned on Fr...
London - "Daft old cow's been reading too many bloody tabloid headlines, what?" the old curmudgeon snarled at Palace footmen today as details of the plot emerged. "Why, only this morning the stupid bat asked me if I'd seen the effin' story and ask...
The Prime Minister has announced yet another government austerity cut-back to Parliament today. From 1 January 2013 the names of virtually everyone in Britain will have to consist of no more than eighteen characters, including any space between each...
The Queen today attended cabinet where she sat between David Cameron and William Hague. During the meeting there was a discussion on Afghanistan as well as a vote that resulted in everyone giving The Queen three cheers. One extraordinary piece of...
A gang in America has been arrested after plotting to kidnap Justin Bieber and castrate him, thus saving the future world from thousands of "Bieber Baby's" polluting TV with endless reality shows about living in their dad's shadow. Unfortunately the gang involved in the ambitious plot had the combined brain capacity of a bottle of mulled wine and were caught before they could even get in the s...
CHICAGO - A spokesperson for The Fig Leaf Bookstore, which is one of the nation's largest, has stated that Pippa Middleton's new tell-all book, titled Pippa's Royal Rumblings is literally flying off the bookshelves. The book which Len Goodman, Bar...
Television retailers from all over Britain have been reporting heavy customer demand today for this year's new Christmas 'must have' accessory - 3D TV screen protectors. 'We had 2000 of them in stock when we closed the shop on Saturday evening and...
London - "Prince Philip's the seasonal 2/1 favorite," online oddsmaker Aintogottaprayer.con sources said today, "but what with the Douchesse of Cambridge's recent nauseous attack we're installing her as the new 5/4 co-fav." The website's winter od...
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are expecting their first child after Prince William finally managed to impregnate his wife. Palace insiders recently told the media the Duke and Duchess had been hard at it since their wedding last year with litt...
A massive fire on the Channel island of Jersey last night has torn through the island's wasp breeding nest fields owned by the Queen destroying them all. The loss of what would have been an estimated 100 million fully fledged wasps ready for Her M...
A radical fart emissions offsetting scheme was launched yesterday in central London by Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg and Education Minister Michael Gove. The prevention of fart fouling trading scheme or PFFTS was introduced to reduce fart emiss...
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