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Funny story: My Senior Moments - W/E Sunday 19th February 2012

My Senior Moments - W/E Sunday 19th February 2012

Selected Senior Moments suffered by a Nottingham Senior Citizen. In the hopes of raising a laugh at them, and making them easier to live with. Sunday 12th February: * Woke up, went into kitchen and thought 'That's nice, it's not so cold this morning'. I'd left the oven on all night! * Made a cuppa, then put the tea bags in the fridge and left the milk out? * Put me Impetigo cream on me lesi...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Forty-Three

A True Diary of Woe - Part Forty-Three

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 87 - Guarding: The Tunnel Chase - a rare Victory Well... I say victory... I was assigned to an out of the way Brick making company just outside of Nottingham. The site was spread over the brow of a hill. At the bottom. the offices, then the st...

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Funny story: My beloved Griselda - Part Four - The meal

My beloved Griselda - Part Four - The meal

My association with Griselda, was without doubt, the most romantically and passion filled period of my sad life, and I still miss the chemistry of our entwined bodies in complete and utter ecstasy and pleasurable pain. My delight in her ability to lift me up, turn me over, and carry me around the room while tasting my foibles will remain with me forever. The Meal I went into the room to ask...

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Funny story: My beloved Griselda - Part Three - Our first trip out, to the Cinema

My beloved Griselda - Part Three - Our first trip out, to the Cinema

Part Three - Our first trip out, to the Cinema We were going to see 'Das Boot' at the Metropole Cinema in Sherwood, Nottingham. Not far from the flat I had the erotic pleasure of sharing with my beloved Griselda. I was on the step ladder, hanging the curtains, when she reminded me to get ready in time, as she lifted me down from the step ladder, and carried me in her magnificent rippling arm...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Forty-One

A True Diary of Woe - Part Forty-One

A diary of one man's utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, which started in August 1947 Chapter 82 - Escorting the Prisoner After being on the minimum wage for so long, it came as a surprise to me when the boss asked if I'd like to do higher paid assignment for a day. I jumped at the chance. Then it came to light that it was a Prisoner Escort job, with an in...

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Funny story: My beloved Griselda - Part Two - Taking her home...

My beloved Griselda - Part Two - Taking her home...

Giselda was about 5'11" tall, around 15 stone (solid with it), lovely long hair, gorgeous wide hips, tree trunk legs that I instantly wanted to wrap myself around. My Beloved Griselda - Part One - The Beginning Part Two - Taking her home... I was getting myself ready to go and pick up Griselda, as arranged, from the cottage she was staying in for her visit to England, to visit her penfri...

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Funny story: My beloved Griselda - Part One - The beginning...

My beloved Griselda - Part One - The beginning...

It all started, when a work colleague, Horace, invited me to a wedding anniversary meal at his home in Wilford, Nottingham, many years ago. His wife Susan, had also invited her German Penfriend, Grizelda Baumgarter (last name changed for reasons that will become obvious later). I arrived at his cottage early, and soon found myself being accepted within the family, despite my horrendous featu...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Forty - Bad Romances

A True Diary of Woe - Part Forty - Bad Romances

A diary of one man's utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 79 - Grappling with Giselda Ah... how I remember Grizelda Baumgarter (last name changed for obvious reasons). She was 5'11" tall, around 14 stone, lovely long hair, gorgeous wide hips, tree trunk legs... chunky and pear shaped if you like. And I liked! Now you might...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Thirty-Nine

A True Diary of Woe - Part Thirty-Nine

A diary of one man's utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 76 - Nearly My Stage Début - In Oliver Twist In their wisdom, (and having no one left to pick) the Bridgeway Hall Methodist Chapel's Theologian committee chose me to play the (small but essential they said) part of Charley Bates, one of Fagin's pickpockets. I surprise...

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Funny story: Historical Walks of Ye Olde Nottingham - The Arboretum

Historical Walks of Ye Olde Nottingham - The Arboretum

Your tour guide will walk you through the route from Hyson Green, to the Nottingham Arboretum - describing along the way, the current multi-culturally rich lifestyle as opposed to the history of Nottingham in the same area. Historical Walks of Ye Olde Nottingham The Arboretum A place where an extensive variety of woody plants are cultivated for scientific, educational, and ornamental purpos...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Thirty-Eight

A True Diary of Woe - Part Thirty-Eight

A diary of one man's utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 71 Redundancies suffered 1960s: Where from: HM Forces, R.A.M.C. Why: Newly diagnosed medical condition. (Duodenal ulcers) 1970s: Where from: Private Store Manager Why: Owner sold business 1980s: Where from: Carters Drinks Why: Massive cutbacks to enable sell...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Thirty-Seven

A True Diary of Woe - Part Thirty-Seven

A diary of one man's utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 67 - The Guarding the Turkey Farm Episode I was posted one November, to a farm near Kinoulton in Nottinghamshire, assigned to protect the Turkeys being fattened in time for Christmas. As usual the assignment instructions were vague and lacking in detail. when I arriv...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Thirty-Six

A True Diary of Woe - Part Thirty-Six

A diary of one man's utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 66 - Christmas 1955 The first Christmas I can remember after Mater had hopped it, leaving me and Dad in peace. Dad being Dad, and not inclined to spend money unless it was absolutely vital, did get me a few Christmas presents though. A packet of the new fire-lighte...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Thirty-Five

A True Diary of Woe - Part Thirty-Five

A diary of one man's utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 65 - The Hospital Visitor? After my cardiac surgery, and two days of which I can remember little, I was moved to the Intensive care for a day, then back into the 'Morris' cardiac ward in the Nottingham City Hospital. As I awoke, and looked at the paraphernalia protrudi...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Thirty-Four

A True Diary of Woe - Part Thirty-Four

A diary of one man's utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 64 - One of my fortnightly trips to the public baths Each fortnight, Dad and I would venture out to the Public baths on Portland Street, in the Meadows area of Nottingham. It was a very stressful exercise for Dad, because it involved him parting with 3d (1½p), and th...

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Funny story: Historical Walks of Ye Olde Nottingham - Around the City Centre

Historical Walks of Ye Olde Nottingham - Around the City Centre

A stroll around the Council House of Nottingham. Recalling and comparing the quaint and individualistic nature of life in Nottingham comparing the three dates, 1890, 1963, and 2011, at the same location. Long Row East 1890: As you walk up Long Row East, watching out for the cyclists horse drawn trams, and pigeon pooh falling. On your left is the magnificent fascia of the decorative and...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Thirty-Three

A True Diary of Woe - Part Thirty-Three

A diary of one man's utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 63 - Hospital ProcedureThis chapter shoots to the present day - in an effort to recall my short term memory quickly and record the events semi-accurately, before I return to my usual haze when the affects of the drugs wear off. I'd starved myself, taken the medications,...

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