Citing his passion for debate, flare for commentary and overarching desire to make others feel mentally dominated, ESPN sports anchor Stephen A. Smith has announced plans to debate each of his followers on Twitter. The event, which Smith has dubbe...
While watching the Democratic National Convention yesterday, local resident Artye McDaniels, 103, was confused to find that Barack Obama is the president of the United States. "Obama is president, ya say?" A perplexed McDaniels said. "That can't...
U.S. college graduates, fed up with the job market and slow economy, have began wiping their asses with their diplomas in protest. The nationwide protests, known as the "Univershitty Protests," have spread online via social networks as th...
Despite having what some have called an unappealing headline, you have just opened this article and started reading it. "I'm really not sure why I'm reading this article," you said. "So far it doesn't really seem to be about anything. I'm beginning to wonder why it was even written." Though the thought has crossed your mind to stop reading the article, you said that a combination o...
In what may be the most thoughtful gesture of their 3-year relationship, Jake Harrington plans to leave his girlfriend Mary Rockmore a half-eaten bologna sandwich. Harrington said the thoughtful act, which occurs after the two had a long argumen...
The sharp shooting guard Ray Allen will have no part in the Miami Heat organization after an overnight visit with the professional basketball team went "fucking terrible." Allen, who won his first NBA championship title with the Boston Celtics, is...
The first new video game console since 2006 is finally set to be released. Microsoft has unveiled its newest video game console, which it says far exceeds the capabilities of any game console on the market. The same company known for releasin...
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