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There was an old boy with a perm,
Whose outbursts made foreigners squirm,
He bagged a good job,
As a ministry nob,
And now he's out squabbling with Germ-ans

He isn't as daft as he looks,
Being awfully well-versed in books.
We might be in the shit,
But he's rolling in it:
So he doesn't give two flying fucks.


From the Bullingdon Club Boris comes,
Where the chaps are each other's bum chums.
But he ain't no dumb loon
or blond-tousled buffoon,
Though he sounds like his gob's full of plums.


There was an old buffer named Boris
Who knew Epicurus and Horace.
Now with Foreign Affairs
He gives himself airs
And begins to edge closer to hubris.

There was a young fellow from Eton
Who wasn't afraid of a beating
He did sod all as mayor
And kissed Gove for a dare
Now his career is retreating

Poo flap flap poo flap flap flap poo,
Poo flaps poofy flaps flappy poo,
Poo flappy poo sponge,
Flaps poo flappy munge,
Flaps mungy poo flaps spongy moo

Very Boaty Boaty.

---

Quote: Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Poo flap flap poo flap flap flap poo,
Poo flaps poofy flaps flappy poo,
Poo flappy poo sponge,
Flaps poo flappy munge,
Flaps mungy poo flaps spongy moo

---

There was a young fellow named Boris
Whose hair was a terrible forest.
When they cried "get it cut!"
He replied "Tut tut tut!"
That incorrigible fellow named Boris.

There was a young fellow named Bojo
Who seemed to be losing his mojo
But instead Bojo strove
To outflank the rum cove
And now Govey's as dead as a dodo.

Such wit for young Boris
I'm sure he'll not ignore us
So many many clever words abound
Some lost and some found
Roused together by many in chorus