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Does anyone have any experience with rockhopper penguins? Specifically, with their husbandry? A very nice man I met in a pub has offered me some shares in a rockhopper penguin farm on the Isle of Wight. When I asked him why the Isle of Wight, he said it was because of the vast herds of krill that live off the shores of the island. Apparently these penguins eat a lot of krill.

He said "Picture a summer's day. In your luxury hammock you lie, sipping freshly-soured lemonade through a sieve. Your faithful retainer crouches at your feet. With the laughter of children in the background, you gaze upon the heaving blue main, where the silvery moonlight glistens. Far to the West, the mailman is a-coming, through the waving fields of alfalfa, bearing a heavy sack. In the sack, a wad of deeds of sale. Every shilling invested, brings you twenty down. For every twenty, fifty more. Think what five years will fetch? And all the time you lie, sipping lemonade, your faithful retainer crouching at your feet, the peals of children's' laughter brightening the day."

He obviously knows what he is talking about. Why would he make up a story about krill? I am thinking of proffering him a promissory note for five thousand, with a view to ten in six months.

Is this not a fantastic opportunity? I have seen pictures of these penguins, and they do seem to be sturdy little fellows.

As man came into my wife's shop a couple of weeks ago and started an argument with her about penguins.

Was it about rockhopper penguins?

No, it was about black footed penguins, not the most appealing of penguins in my mind. Still one should select which battles are worth fighting, penguins are low on my list of things to get upset about.

Quite right. I recently undertook an altercation with a sprightly gentleman who reminded me of nothing quite so much as an elderly eel out of water. The subject upon which we jousted was the oft-vaunted narwhal, a particular hobby-horse of mine. My antagonist was very much of the "narwhals signify nothing" school.

That we argued - tossing the unfortunate narwhal back and forth like a marine shuttlecock - for nigh on three hours about what might seem to the uninitiated a mundane and insignificant topic, is beside the point.

The point is that we chose our subject.

To return to the noble penguin, if I may, - I have heard that the Southern African natives of the 18th century kept these as domestic fowls, painting their feet white as a badge of suburban superiority. But I may have heard wrong. And how can we check our facts - for these tribes are long since consigned to the dustbin of colonial history. Sic transit gloria mundi.

This, of course, does little to advance the question for or against the husbandry of the rockhopper penguin.

I'm an expert on chocolate penguins.

Is this any help?

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Quote: Simon Saunders

I'm an expert on chocolate penguins.

Is this any help?

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Yes, everything's a help, one way or another, on the long road to oblivion.

One has to wonder if penguins lived on a continent other than Antarcica whether they could survive with humans around being more or less defenceless.

I personally would like to place one on the top of an incline and watch it totttter down.

Batman knew the answer to that problem..

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Quote: I personally would like to place one on the top of an incline and watch it totttter down.

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Or perhaps put one in a formula 1 car. Or behind the Sky News desk. Or in the White House.

Hang on, that last one's already been done.