Discussion Forum

Anybody ever had any dealings with this feller?

They're in among my kumquats again.

I've tried everything, reading Finnegans Wake in Japanese, spraying the crop with Loyd Grossman's Smoky Rabbit Pour-Over Sauce, keeping a pond full of common bream nearby.

I haven't yet tried silver bream. Perhaps that will be my next move. I had high hopes for the Loyd Grossman. I was sure that would repel the blighters. It worked with the humpbacked bandicoots that were having a field day in my field of brassica a twelvemonth since.

Pierce Filmlidd (no relation)

Suggest you clear the pond of bream and replace with hammerhead chub.

Alternatively, try arming the local pigeons.

Yours

Ike Walton
Marlow

Erskin, you need a sonic hedgehog. They're well hard.

Regards

Skoob.

A Wombat is neither a wom, nor a bat,it's a marsupial.

I thought a womb'at was a cover for the uterus.

I'm told that Wombats can be calmed by softly humming or whistling to them 'Screaming with Vengeance' by Judas Priest. Apparently it sends them off in a trance within minutes. They can then be herded and led to the corral with the Bandicoots.

I might write in to Gardeners' Question Time. I believe they've got the Venerable Bede on this week. He's sure to have some great tips.