Discussion Forum

Fuck it, I cant be bothered to fukin explain.




Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Well fancy that, blow me, flippin' 'eck, and jolly hockey-sticks!

Love
Inch

The best way - and the method favoured by Alexander The Great and Ted Moult - is to bury your face in a blancmange the moment you feel the urge to swear.

Tried it Erskin, but the Vicar nearly drowned!



Love as always

Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ah Ted Moult - those were the days when any old farmer could become a celebrity without having shagged a sheep. I remember him well on quiz shows and in those annoying double glazing adverts. He shot himself I think - the ads weren't that bad surely?

They say, Dear Lynton, that Ted fell on his shotgun and killed himself, others say he comitted suicide by blowing his brains out.....I reckon the crap windows fell on him when he slammed the front door!



Love as always

Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

No.

I meant Ted Moult from Hurstpierpoint, sporran designer and heliotrope breeder.

You should have said! Just be clearer next time.

I swear I never swore your honour, fuck off!

Erskin, you are confusing me, now I dont know what him am not was it were. Did you say Biddleswade?


Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I might have spoken out of tern, as the man in the seabird costume said, when he was fetched up before the beak.

All the nice gulls love a sailor the Admiral said wiping the shite from his hat. I'm just off to Albert Ross the barber to buy a cut throat, he added, 'I wonder what the razor bill will be?'

'What about the Great Auk?' I said; 'Extinct they are!' The Admiral replied nonchalantly,'all seabirds are smelly, what do you expect?'. By this time we were well on up the hill and the Admiral was a puffin', quite out of breath'. We looked in the grass at the side. There were many ant hills. Look! Ants! Shouted the Admiral, 'and over there, Cor more ants!'

We were then accosted by a local lady of the night to whom the Admiral said'Fancy a shag?' the Admiral winked slightly. 'Well there's a tobacconist just round the corner she said helpfully.'

We saw it just as she said - Gwynn-Jones Tobacconist and Newsagent- We entered and the Admiral made straight for the lottery tickets. Finding nothing to write with he asked the proprietor, 'Can I borrow a pen Gwynne?' Yes said Gwynne, adding 'and I also have a felt tip that the lady of the night just gave me.'

(One will not go further since one does not wish to incur the collective groaning wrath of fellow spoofers)

Too late.

AAaaaaaaaarrrrrghhhhh!!!

Regards

Skoob

Is that your missus I can hear in the background shouting 'Make with the beef tea or I'll scream'?

Mrs SKOOB has been given the patented exstended fist, so as to allow her to clobber SKOOB, if the broth is not forthcoming! I gave it her at christmas, wrapped, of course.



Love as always

Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxx

She pudched be id der dothe!

Aaaarrrrrgghh!

Regards

Skoob.

Lynton's piece, absolutely brillaintly fucking mad!

JO, thanks - but don't encourage me it could get worse!

Lynton has got worse since he was deported to France by MI6. They think he has retired, wait till they see what he's been up to in the dordogne!


Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I thought I was going to find the answer I need to help me here. Oh well... never mind

Chris, your answer awaits you on the SKOOB1999 thread. Any one of his threads are full of prophetic missives that only the enlightened will understand. We have yet to find one.

Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I was being a bit sarcastic because of the swearing in my spoofs, but thanks.


The title cought my eye coz I did think it might actually give me reason not to swear in my spoofs. The problem for me is I can't do it in the real world (apart from with fam n friends) so I eally enjoy unleashing what I really think... but can't actually say.

That is why I am so amonynous

Nobody in the world has a clue who I am. I like it like that.

If my spoofs didn't gravitate towards the naughty and those b'stard celebs who mess up, I'd love to write here and everybody know who I am, but that can't happen.

I swear quite a bit in spoofs too. And similarly, not very often in real life. Unless I'm larking about with the wife.

Strangely, I find people who swear continually sort of irritating. In life or print.

I'm a very private person too, and tend to be anonymous. That Shuttlecock chap on YouTube on Skoob1999's channel isn't really me. It's apparently some dickhead from Dorking.

Regards

Skoob.

As if I didn't have enough to do.. especially as Im on my phone.... oh well.. Youtube here I come.

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Quote: Lynton

All the nice gulls love a sailor the Admiral said wiping the shite from his hat. I'm just off to Albert Ross the barber to buy a cut throat, he added, 'I wonder what the razor bill will be?'

'What about the Great Auk?' I said; 'Extinct they are!' The Admiral replied nonchalantly,'all seabirds are smelly, what do you expect?'. By this time we were well on up the hill and the Admiral was a puffin', quite out of breath'. We looked in the grass at the side. There were many ant hills. Look! Ants! Shdouted the Admiral, 'and over there, Cor more ants!'

We were then accosted by a local lady of the night to whom the Admiral said'Fancy a shag?' the Admiral winked slightly. 'Well there's a tobacconist just round the corner she said helpfully.'

We saw it just as she said - Gwynn-Jones Tobacconist and Newsagent- We entered and the Admiral made straight for the lottery tickets. Finding nothing to write with he asked the proprietor, 'Can I borrow a pen Gwynne?' Yes said Gwynne, adding 'and I also have a felt tip that the lady of the night just gave me.'

(One will not go further since one does not wish to incur the collective groaning wrath of fellow spoofers)

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